Pause before words...

"Kay, pause before you speak. Let your brain catch up before you say something (again) that you regret."

Remember the old saying; "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me...?" WRONG! I look back on my thirty seven years and realize that 95% of my painful memories, low self esteem, frustration, etc... came from words said to me at some point in my life. I am one of those people that may "forgive" but I have a horrible time forgetting! God has been working hard on me now for years, helping me to let go of some of my hurt...

I said all that to say, that my daughter loves to run at the mouth! Oh, don't get me wrong, she is a sweetheart! Teachers love her. Friends love her. She has the reputation at school and home as being sweet, kind and quiet. She is also very loving at home when she wants to be. I am blessed and love her dearly... however, when she comes home she unloads! All of a sudden she turns into what I call the "MOUTH." She has a comeback for EVERYTHING!!!

The person that usually suffers from her mouth, is of course her brother. It is a daily ongoing thing, where in typical sibling fashion she lets him have it everyday. I will hear phrases like "he's stupid!", "I can't believe he said that!" or the old fashion word of "DUH!" And that is really just to name a very few. This will go on until I've had it or they end up in a knock down drag out fight!

Well today I had had it. (again!) I called her in and in my "MOTHER" voice, started being in her eyes, "a totally unfair, always taking his side, love him more mom!" That is until I called her a word she hates... I said "Kay, you're a bully."

She hates that word. Hates it when kids bully others at school, so when I, her own mom called her one, well, she finally got quiet. She admitted not meaning half of what she says... she just gets frustrated with her brother... which is totally normal. (I'm still apologizing to my sister for being mean!) The truth is that her mouth opens before she thinks about what she is saying... if only...

SMACK! Ouch! Practice what we preach, right? How many times have I fumed over something said or done without really thinking things through? How many times do I get upset, before I have all the facts? How many times do I say things I regret? How many times have I called someone stupid (in my head, of course)? How many times have I wanted to shout at God and say; "Are you sure you don't love them more?" How many times... Isn't it funny how sometimes God teaches us the hardest lessons through ourselves teaching our kids?

Today's lesson was to pause and think before speaking. I wonder what tomorrow's will be? How to share when your selfish heart wants to yell "it's MINE?" I'm beginning to think the reason I had kids, was so I could learn how to be a better me... I think I'm going to pause now and spend some quiet time thinking, before I go on speaking.