My Little Girl... is 12!!!

(This picture was taken Mother's Day 1998.)

Today, I almost wanted to cry. I have never had a problem with my own age. I was alright when I turned 30, 35 and I'm fine with turning 38 at the end of the month. However, when I think of my kids and the milestones they go through, I feel a little... truthfully, I not really sure what I feel. Excited, sad, frustrated and maybe even a little depressed. There is excitement for my children and all their potential with each day that passes. There is extreme sadness that they will never be "little" again. There is a frustration with knowing that they need me a little less with each year that passes and I'm depressed over the fact that sooner than I want, they will leave me to follow their own life's calling.

Today is my baby girl's 12Th birthday. Enough said. We are fixing to enter a new territory, a new frontier and it literally has me shaking in my crocs. My little tomboy of yesteryear's is turning into a young "lady." Although she still loves the deer camp and climbing trees, she has started caring if her clothes match. Wanting jewelry and "smell good" shampoo are her new vices. Only yesterday she was asking me about straightening her hair! What happen to just putting your hair in a ponytail?!

Although I'm sad over the changes she is making... I'm enjoying them too. We now can enjoy shopping together. We have fun conversations about other things than the Disney Channel and we even share shoes!!! She even comes up to the daycare where I work to play with the babies and help her dear mom after school, twice a week. And last but certainly not least, she is learning to cook (blueberry muffins are her specialty!) and she knows how to wash clothes(Yeah!).

Anyway, there is a song by Tim McGraw that kind of says what I feel sometimes... I changed a couple of the words, so that it would be from my perspective as a mom.

My Little Girl

Gotta hold on easy as I let you go

Gonna tell you how much I love you though you think you already know

I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm

You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born

Beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road that will lead you home again

Go on, take on this whole world but to me you know you will always be

My little girl.

When you were in trouble that crooked little smile would melt this heart of stone

Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown

Sometimes when you're asleep I whisper I love you in the moonlight at your door

As I walk away I hear you say "Mommy, love you more!"

Beautiful baby from the outside in... you will always be my little girl.

Happy Birthday, Kayla! Mommy loves you. (more than all the stars in the sky...)