I guess you might have wondered where I have been. I am still here, plugging along, but the last month has not been an easy one for me. I still feel like some days I am teetering on the edge, but at the same time I feel the Lord's hands holding me firmly. God is good. And I am still a "glass is half full" kind of gal. I realize that my troubles to many may seem small and insignificant, compared to many things I could be going through...nevertheless, this is where I am today.
My health has not been what it should lately. I have literally felt tired and run down. I finally went to the doctor. Now I was told what I already know, I am the allergy QUEEN, and part of my problem will always be traced back to them darn allergens. But blood work was done and it was discovered that I do have a little issue with my thyroid. So I have spent the last few weeks getting use to my meds. I do feel better, but since I was run down for a while, it is taking me a little bit to get back into the swing of things.
In case anyone is wondering, I am still gluten free. I feel better and better, tummy wise, everyday. I have even lost a few pounds because of it. It takes willpower and patience. Reading labels is not fun. Avoiding favorite foods is not fun. Going out to eat is no longer enjoyable...of course I don't know if I ever really enjoyed it before. I always had to worry where the closest bathroom was. I still search them out, but mainly because my tummy can tell when my food has had gluten in it. The other plus, is I was commenting to my hubby, just last night, that every spring and fall I usually have to go to the doctor for a steroid and antibiotic, because my allergies get so bad. This spring, my allergies have bothered me, but not as bad as usual. I am pretty sure that what I am eating is helping. I am trying to stay healthy. I take a vitamin and I am eating lots of fruits and veggies these days, more than I use to.
My work has also added to my weariness. Lots of changes have been made. People are leaving. People are being fired. The powers that be are "cleaning house." Although, I have no worries about getting fired myself, it has been very stressful lately. It is hard not to worry. It is hard not to get caught up in the whirlpool of madness. It is hard to have peace, when everything is so very much in the air. But my God is so good. He is so full of grace. And I know that His strength alone will give me the strength to do what I need to do.
On a positive note, my kiddos have kept me busy. We have been wrapping up the school year. They both received band awards this year, made good grades and have made me pretty darn proud in the process. I have been blessed with some good kiddos. I pray everyday for their hearts as they continue through this adventure call "teenage years." May God have a tight hold on them the whole way. May they continue to keep their eyes on the true prize and not the material ones along the way. It is so scary to be a mom... I mean, how do you tell your teenage daughter that for every prayer she sends up wanting a boyfriend, I am sending one up saying "she is NOT ready." (I know I AM NOT READY!!!) How do you tell your son that fighting is wrong, yet bullying is worse, so if you have to help a friend... (He hasn't been in a fight as of yet, but he has helped a few friends out of situations.)
I honestly don't know how some mothers survive without Jesus. He is my anchor in this storm called child rearing. He is the one who puts the rainbows in view each day.
Today I looked at the vase holding my Mom's Day roses. In the middle was a blue flower. My daughter had received a flower from a friend at school and had plopped it down in that vase, smack dab in the middle of those roses. For some odd reason, it struck me as beautiful. Such a random little thing, but held a powerful message for me.
Dare to be different.
The Lord was whispering, "It is all going to be alright." I need to just be myself. I need to rely totally on Him. His peace will be there. His healing will be there. His strength will be there. All HE asks of me, is to try my best to show Him to others. In the way I live. In the way I work. In the way I love. In the way I handle the tough moments. The Lord is daring me to be be different.