And it is only going to get busier. Between now and Christmas, well I think the fall and the first part of winter are the busiest time of year for us. It is also my favorite time of year, with all the birthday parties (both my kids have October birthdays.), the holidays, sports and football games. But then that is another post for another day...
Today the word is DRAMA.
The fact that we are all tired probably plays into that, but the real culprits and two individuals responsible for my mother madness are "K & J." They are a brother/sister team who like to tag team their dear, sweet mom, until mommy dearest feels like she is literally going to blow up. (And believe me, i have a few times this week.) I just THOUGHT the preschool days were hard. Seriously, there are moments that I consider going back to the potty training days, very short moments, mind you. But the thought does cross my mind from time to time. The problem is, that usually what they are upset about or fighting about adds up to NOTHING.
I mean, that is a good thing, that my kids are not going through any serious difficulties right now and that all they can come up with is "NOTHING" to fight about. But it still does not keep my hair from turning a little grayer with each and every passing day.
This is the part of the post where I need to take a moment and tell my dear sweet mom and dad, "SORRY."
- I am sorry that I blamed YOU for ALL my troubles, since you had a big part in making me who I am. After all, it is ALWAYS the parent's fault, right? (UGH!!!!)
- I am sorry that I used words like ALWAYS and NEVER. Because, after all, bad things ALWAYS happened to me and I NEVER got my way. RIGHT?!!!
- I am sorry that I ROLLED MY EYES when asked to do something around the house or when I KNEW you were just plain stupid. After all, I had all the answers, right?
- I am sorry that some days it was like pulling teeth to get me to talk about my day and other days you couldn't get me to shut up. And that you were expected to just KNOW which day was which.
- I am sorry that it was your fault that I would pick out a cute outfit, only to HATE it the next week. You were suppose to know that I would. (or that it made me look fat.)
- I am sorry that I ever exaggerated, lied, talked back, or just plain acted like a HORMONAL TEENAGER. Babies should come with warning labels, preparing every parent for the teenage days.
But now, that I have said "I AM SORRY," let me just let you know this;
- You and God really did KNOW what was best for me.
- You were able to see outside the box and KNOW which friends had my best interest at heart.
-You really did KNOW what clothes fit me best and looked good on me.
-You NEVER tried to intentionally embarrass me, I did enough of that on my own.
- Your rules were for my own good. You were NOT MEAN, BOSSY, NOSEY and IN MY BUSINESS. You were doing YOU JOB.
- When you were referee between my sister and I, you tried your best to hear both side of the story and make the best call you knew how to make at the time.
- You didn't play favorites. My sister and I were just DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES, DIFFERENT AGES.
- You were right. Deep down I didn't HATE my sister, but actually loved her and would have defended her if push came to shove. I just had to keep up appearances. It is in the sibling handbook.
- I now KNOW how much you really do LOVE ME, just for putting up with me all those years.
MAY I CONTINUE TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS AND BE THE BEST "MEANEST" MAMA THERE IS...THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH!
That being said, back to my own dear, sweet darlings. This week has been FULL of sibling madness. I am truly beginning to think that this is another "growth" period in my own spiritual journey. It is like God is saying, "Hey, you survived your childhood, the teenage years, college, dating, being a newlywed, pregnancy and childbirth and the preschool years, let me see how much more you are willing to give over to me. How much more time are you willing to spend on your knees in prayer? Welcome to being parents of TEENAGERS. See if you come out the other side like my man Job. Still going to PRAISE me at the end of every day?"
Yes, Lord. I am going to praise you. 'Cause even though my kiddos can shovel out some verbal dirt, I am totally in love with both of them. Besides you and my hubby, THEY ARE MY LIFE; the good, the bad and the ugly. I look forward to the day they say "THANKS."
In the meantime, I send this post out as a warning...
Even if something looks as sweet as this;
or as cute as this;
they will grow up to look like this;
and this;
Teenagers. Gotta love them. I do.
Happy Saturday! Here is hoping for a better week, starting tomorrow.
*****************
Now that I have caught up for the week. I just wanted to take a moment to "remember when..."
I remember hearing people throughout my life recalling "where they were" when HUGE events in history took place. Man on the moon, JFK being shot, space shuttle explosion... today I remember where I was when I saw planes, twin towers and lots of rubble.
Of all things, I was dropping my son off at daycare. I remember walking in and my friend was staring at her TV, as preschoolers ran unaware around the room. I remember joining her and we both stood frozen for what seemed like an eternity. Little did I know our world would change so very much in just a few moments.
Today as I remember, I pray. There is such anger in this world today. Whether it be religious, racial, or economic, Satan has gotten a hold of our world and flipped the hate button on. So many horrible things have taken place in the last decade, so many harmful things have been said, so many unmentionable things have been done. We can't go back. We are all changed.
But we can go forward. I choose to continue to believe in a God of forgiveness, hope and love. I choose today to love even those I do not understand. I choose to forgive, even those that seem unforgivable, for as Jesus said "they know not what they do." I choose to love, even when it is hard, as God has called me to.
There will be days I struggle. Days I wake up and say "it is hopeless." Yet, I choose to still believe in all of God's faithfulness and glory. I think I will leave all judgment to the one true judge.
My prayers continue to go out to all the friends and families who are "remembering." My prayers continue to go out to the soldiers and their families for their sacrifice. Most of all my prayers go to God, for continuing me on my own journey of faith and strength each day.
At the end of the day, GOD IS GOOD.
