Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A Lesson Learned Over a Candy Bar...

I got my feelings hurt today.

One of the mom's brought in a whole sack filled with treat bags, for kids and teachers, today at work. When the candy was all passed out, it was clear that I had been forgotten. It really doesn't matter that I can't eat chocolate (allergic), it doesn't really matter that deep in my heart I know the mom would be upset if she knew. What mattered to me all stinkin' morning was the fact that I had been left out. I felt like I was in grade school again.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake that feeling we have all felt at one time or another. The feeling of being picked last. The feeling of being the only one not asked to the dance. The feeling of not being asked to a certain party or fellowship. Feelings that muddle our brains and pour down the insecurity. Even when deep inside, we know better, some days it is just so hard to shake those yucky feelings. For whatever reason, this morning it hit me hard. Probably because the mom responsible, would be the last one I would expect, to forget me.

When you hit age 40, do you start feeling like you are 13 again?



I tried all morning not to let it bother me. I mean, I didn't make a big deal about it, in fact nobody at work knew I was upset. I just couldn't let that train of thought go. It haunted me all morning. I would reason over and over in my head, but it just plain HURT. I know deep down, that she would be upset if she realized her mistake, but my human heart wanted to cry out "It is not about the candy bar!!! It is about the thought. I want to be thought of. I want to be affirmed. I want to be thanked too!"



During my lunch break, I got in my car and VENTED. I said "Lord, it just plain HURTS to be left out, no matter how little or big the circumstances are. Just want a little acknowledgement here, for a job well done."



And He replied as clear as day;



"I understand."



OUCH!



It hit me hard. He really does know doesn't HE?



How many times have I forgot to say "thank you" to the Blessing Maker of the World? How many times have I been too tired or busy to have a little one on one time with the Savior? How many times have I paid bills, selfishly bought something I wanted and then had NOTHING left for the offering plate? How many times have I just forgotten..?



Too many to count.



After my little cry fest over a little candy bar, I found myself wondering if I should write a thank you card to the mom. Her oversight, actually ended up giving me the gift I really needed today...time with my Savior.

11 comments:

christy rose said...

Awesome post Mich!! ")

Kristin said...

Wow, Mich....what a great post! He sure does know, doesn't He? I never really thought about that. I almost left my church, the one that has changed my life so much, because I was left out of a party once. And if I'm honest, I still haven't gotten over it. Thank you for reminding me how I do this to our Savior all the time. Ouch is right!

Jim said...

Sis,
Good wrenching reminder of what each of us has wrestled with if we were to admit it. The application you made to the Lord is very appropriate, and perhaps could be extended to others that we tend to forget or even ignore. Makes you wonder to what depths our forgetfulness may drive some who do not have the graceful, loving omniscients of the Savior.

Love your honest transparency, my girl - you touch more than you know.

Jim-Dad

Sharon Sloan - Joy In The Truth said...

Wow....I love the lessons we can learn through chocolate. :) And you did the perfect thing....go right to your Savior and chat about it!!

Christi said...

Wow...what a great insight you had! Thanks for sharing that!

Jules said...

You are an amazing woman. You always inspire me. Thank you.

Kellie said...

So very true!! I am thankful for how the Lord uses those moments to teach us something greater. I love it when He speaks to me like that.... The time spent with Him was much better than any candy bar, huh? :)

Angel said...

Isn't it amazing how He uses our weakest moments to teach us so much!! I love this post. I have been so emotional with Shane's deployment looming and I keep reminding myself that God sent His only Son to die for us. Thank you for your encouraging words today and for the prayers for my family, especially Shane!!

Love you my friend

Heart2Heart said...

Mich,

I love those silent teachable moments that God reveals to us! What an incredible post.

Stopping by to say Hi and that I've missed you.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

P.S. If you can stop by Heart2Heart I have an urgent prayer request!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

We are have a desire to be known and loved and remembered. I, too, have had times of feeling forgotten and left out, and Christ has been my only comfort.

How thankful I am for a Father who knows the depth of isolation and neglect that I sometimes feel. He is the only One who is there for us, no matter the day,time,hour.

peace~elaine

Jocelyn said...

What an amazing reminder !!! Thank you so much for this post! I needed this:-)