Sunday, July 25, 2010

Quiet Tears...

Tonight I watched the buses pull out of the church parking lot and I wanted to cry. I am not going to camp this year. My favorite part of the summer...

It is hard to understand God's timing sometimes. I have been angry, frustrated, sad and even a little depressed lately. I am thankful for the Lord' s healing strength, yet so frustrated with the timing of everything going on. I am feeling better these days, health wise. I am slowly, but surely getting my strength and energy back. I am following the doctor's diet like a good gal should. I have lost another two pounds in the last week. I am waiting patiently for the surgery that awaits me next month.

Yet, at this moment in time, I want to stomp my feet, raise my fists and scream "WHY?!!!"

And once again, the Lord wraps me in His loving embrace, holds me tight and softly says "Because I said so." He doesn't have to give me an answer to my "whys." He is not accountable to me. The best part of it all, is that the Lord still loves me, even when I throw my little tantrums. He is patient when I don't want to understand why things aren't going the way I PLANNED. Even though I am frustrated today, I know He sees the bigger picture. His timing is perfect and one day He might just let me in on "why" things are going the way they are right now.

So where am I right now?

I am just a gal who is trying her best to follow where the Lord leads even when she doesn't understand the plan right now. So excuse me while I cry a few tears. I might even stomp my foot as I type. I am however, going to try my best to keep plugging along in faith. Some days that seems to be all I have.

Someone asked me the other day how I was doing. My answer? "One day at a time good." Isn't that all God really asks of us. Just give Him one day at a time and pretty soon those days will turn into years of faith.

Please pray for the 72 people that went to youth camp this year, including my baby girl. they have a long, wonderful week ahead of them. I pray the Lord will rock their world for Him.

12 comments:

Kristin said...

Thank goodness the Lord still loves us, even when we have our temper tantrums. Otherwise, I'd be in bad shape! LOL! I'm sorry you're missing camp, Mich. I hope that you will get your strength back and will feel much better after surgery!

Jim said...

Sis,
So, now for the week you and Jor have a super week planned. Correct?

Your mom and sis and I just finished a late night game of Scrabble - wished you were here!

Love You,
Jim-Dad

Bridget said...

Glad you're doing better, I'll be having a surgery soon, too, so I understand.
Love your new blog look, too!

Sharon Sloan - Joy In The Truth said...

Praying and trusting that He will show you His purposes for you staying home. Spend extra time with Him and in His Word.....that will be such a treasure! :)

Hugs,
Sharon

Angela said...

"I am just a gal who is trying her best to follow where the Lord leads even when she doesn't understand the plan right now. So excuse me while I cry a few tears. I might even stomp my foot as I type. I am however, going to try my best to keep plugging along in faith. Some days that seems to be all I have."

That has been me for a few weeks. I'm plugging away, sometimes dragging my feet, sometimes stomping, sometimes shooting off at the mouth, but still plugging away.

I'm trying to keep focused and not beat myself up for what seems like a very dry desert time, a 'going around the mountain again time'. I hate going around the same mountain..I want to just plug ahead straight and not have this detour at the moment, but it's not about me, my wants,,I keep crying out,,'Lord Your will be done'..I keep crying out...

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Mich,

I had no idea you were going through all of this... and that poor family of the poor in the ER... just makes me sick to my stomach. You've had quite a summer... full of pain and questions and tons of faith. And while I'm not in physical pain, I do understand the struggle of questions. This has been the most difficult time in my faith journey, maybe in forever. Not because it's not in place or isn't strong, but simply because it's being tested. This move has nearly done me in. But like you, I'm re-surfacing again.

Prayers for you today, for your pain and for your peace.

peace~elaine

Terri said...

Mich,







I hope you feel the Lord's love in a extra special way today ;) I hope you get to feeling better soon!

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

I'm confused. I thought you said you had a virus. Why are you having surgery. I kept reading, but must have missed something?

I hope you are able to have a week concentrated on prayer. It is hard to stay behind.

He & Me + 3 said...

Oh no...I am sorry you had to miss camp. I can imagine how you feel. I know that your daughter will have a great time...
you must take care of you.

Angel said...

Oh Mich, I am so sad you didn't get to go but you are right the Lord has a plan and His timing is not always in our realm of understanding. I would be throughing that tantrum too!! Your daughter will have lots of stories to tell and you will get to share in her JOY and excitement when she returns, that will be fun!!

Praying for you and for your upcoming surgery!

Love the new look too

Love you my friend!!

Amber said...

It stinks a big rotten stink-egg that you aren't getting to go. It also stinks a big rotten stink-egg that Jordan isn't hanging at our house this week because you're not getting to go.

Love you muchly. And I'm so proud of your good attitude. I'd be whiny. I know I would.

Gretchen said...

That old dying to self thang is a hard habit to get into. And yes, thankfully He holds our hand and wipes the tears. Sorry you couldn't go this year, Mich.