Thursday, July 29, 2010
No, the reason I am singing the achy breaky blues is that I finally finished painting my son's room. Can I say that I honestly don't want to see a paint brush, blue painter's tape or black plastic again anytime soon? Now, I know several of my bloggy buddies have spent the summer remodeling and painting up a storm, but I have decided I don't like it. Missed the hubby on this project BIG TIME. First of all, my partner was my eleven and a half years old son. Second, I just don't think we are that great at it. Third, I am too much of a perfectionist when it comes to stuff like this, that I KNOW we didn't do a great job. But you know what?
My son worked hard for three days. He didn't complain and didn't say he was bored once. He is a workhorse when he sets his mind to something. Sometimes I went to bed and he would still be fiddling with something concerning the room redo. I am proud of him and I told him so. Actually the truth is, for his age, he paints pretty good. In fact I didn't do much better. And after all, it is HIS ROOM and there is a sense of accomplishment in that. He likes it and tha tis what really matters.
The best part of the last few days, was when he stated that "Yes, he would of liked to have gone and stayed with his aunt and hung out with his cousins for the week..." (That was what he was going to do if I went to camp.) "but, I really have enjoyed spending time with you, Mom." And there you have it people. Yes, I was totally devastated when I heard I couldn't go to camp, after all I've been going for the last umpteen years. But I wouldn't trade this week with my son for anything.
Moms of sons have to sometimes take what we can get, especially the older our little boys become. When they are young, that can be totally mama's boy, and mine was, but the older they become, they become daddy's shadow, their little man. Frankly, that is the way it should be, the way God planned for it to be. So, when the son gives you a piece of them, their time, conversation and hugs, you grab it for all it's worth, 'cause you don't know when the next go around might be.
It has been a good week...
And then BE STILL MY HEART...
As my daughter was saying goodbye on the phone tonight, after her "I love you and miss you, mom!" she casually states "Tell Jor I love him." HELLO?!!! Did I actually hear her right? I did, 'cause her dad when he got on the phone verified it. I know my kids love each other, but to verbally say the words? They communicate their love in more of a "your such a moron" kind of love language that teens love so much.
Wow! That camp is GOOD. :)
Well, peeps, my bones are weary and my head is calling for the pillow. This old lady has put in a day. But it felt good, to have my energy back and do something besides laying around watching TV all day.
Hope you are all having a wonderful summer. Spend time with the kiddos. What a blessing that can be!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Since half the fam is gone to camp, there are not as many bodies in the house messing things up! So, I bribed my son and we are spending QUALITY time together fixing things up. Of course part of the bribery has to do with his room, in which he wants a total makeover, paint and all. (And of course there was money involved too. :) )
So, I'm working a little, resting a little and just dreaming about a clean house. In other words if you were to come visiting now, you would be greeted by total CHAOS. But HEY, there is a goal in mind and hopefully by Saturday, my hubby and baby girl will be surprised when they walk through the door.
First room to tackle has been my daughters. Throwing away and packing away have been the key there. Don't worry, this mom isn't snooping, reading the journals or invading her privacy. But if you knew my daughter, then you would know she has NO organizational skills, she is a dreamer who could care less about the chaos in which she lives. Mom has to help out every once in a while. She lacks the ability to get rid of ANYTHING or at least pack the old away. I spent hours last night just packing away favorite toys and books from when she was 10. I am excited, though, for I found several pairs of my long lost shoes at the bottom of her closet... :)
Jordan has been filling in all the holes in his wall so we can paint later. I think he is regretting his poster stage BIG TIME. After I paint, I plan on having a small wall in his room covered in cork, so he can hang his treasured art without ruining the walls.
And of course there is the laundry. Hopefully, with two gone, I can play catch up.
Busy week, but I think it will be so worth it. I might even show a picture or two at the end of the week, out of sense of accomplishment. Or at least that is the goal. Wish me luck...
As for my health? I am doing alright. Right now I just live with the fear and anxiety of an attack, having to carefully watch what I eat. If I press on my right side, it still is very sore, so I know the gallbladder is still very sick, but hopefully with the diet it will shrink some so I can go through this surgery the easy way. My surgery is scheduled for August 20, as an outpatient. We are optimistic. Thanks for the prayers.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
It is hard to understand God's timing sometimes. I have been angry, frustrated, sad and even a little depressed lately. I am thankful for the Lord' s healing strength, yet so frustrated with the timing of everything going on. I am feeling better these days, health wise. I am slowly, but surely getting my strength and energy back. I am following the doctor's diet like a good gal should. I have lost another two pounds in the last week. I am waiting patiently for the surgery that awaits me next month.
Yet, at this moment in time, I want to stomp my feet, raise my fists and scream "WHY?!!!"
And once again, the Lord wraps me in His loving embrace, holds me tight and softly says "Because I said so." He doesn't have to give me an answer to my "whys." He is not accountable to me. The best part of it all, is that the Lord still loves me, even when I throw my little tantrums. He is patient when I don't want to understand why things aren't going the way I PLANNED. Even though I am frustrated today, I know He sees the bigger picture. His timing is perfect and one day He might just let me in on "why" things are going the way they are right now.
So where am I right now?
I am just a gal who is trying her best to follow where the Lord leads even when she doesn't understand the plan right now. So excuse me while I cry a few tears. I might even stomp my foot as I type. I am however, going to try my best to keep plugging along in faith. Some days that seems to be all I have.
Someone asked me the other day how I was doing. My answer? "One day at a time good." Isn't that all God really asks of us. Just give Him one day at a time and pretty soon those days will turn into years of faith.
Please pray for the 72 people that went to youth camp this year, including my baby girl. they have a long, wonderful week ahead of them. I pray the Lord will rock their world for Him.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Although I don't recommend this diet, I am thankful that there has been somewhat of a small reward for all my suffering. Thank you, Lord for small blessings.
Please don't try this at home people. I know we would all like to lose a few pounds, but I recommend the healthy way. Maybe healthy diet and a little exercise.
Hope you are having a great summer.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
All of a sudden a nurse comes into my part of a curtain divided room. She apologized, saying it was just about to get chaotic and noisy in the ER. A trauma patient was coming in...
Not only did he come in, but he was on the other side of the curtain. Words like "coded," "roll over accident," "need more blood NOW!" "fifteen year old," could be heard in the chatter on the other side of the curtain. The doctor was barking orders in his calm, professional way. Nurses and aides were scurrying around. Constant bloody trash could be seen hitting the floor under the curtain. At one point, the curtain was partially pulled back, so a nurse could get something out of my side of the room... I could see the young man's hand shaking. For a split moment I forgot my own pain. I was in shock at what was happening before me. I don't think Kev and I spoke for twenty minutes while waiting.
I looked over at my hubby. He held his cap in his hand, whispering prayers for this young man, who short of a miracle would meet his maker that night.
I learned a valuable lesson that night. A reminder of how precious life is. It is all about our perspective in how we deal with what life throws our way. Do I think that young man was in the ER for me? No. But I can't help think that God allowed me to be on the other side of the curtain for a reason. There I was feeling sorry for myself, miserable with my circumstances. Yet, one look at that young boy's hand, made me realize somewhere this child's momma will have a pain that will take more than a hospital stay and a prescription to heal. The momma heart in me couldn't complain much after that moment. I think I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started counting my blessings one by one.
The next day, my pastor's wife said the accident was in the paper. A young kid, speeding, not wearing his seat belt, ended up under his car in a split second. Too damaged, that the poor doctor I had met the night before, could not save him. I still find myself thinking of him and his family...
I am learning everyday, that the things of this world are so much bigger than me. So many times we get caught up in ourselves (I know I do!), and forget the bigger picture. Who knows what tomorrow holds. If I have learned anything the last few days, it is to be thankful for the moment and the blessings in my life, even when the going gets tough. God is good. His timing is perfect. Keeping the faith is the key to peace...
Have a beautiful day, knowing you are in the Heavenly Father's hands.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
This adventure all started last week. You may remember me writing about how sick I was... high fever, chills, nausea... I had it all. The doctor wasn't sure what was wrong, but sent me home with two antibiotics, hoping they would cure about any infection or virus I might have. I felt a little better, but never could shake it. Then the call came Thursday afternoon. They wanted me to come back into the office, some of my lab work had come back and they discovered what my problem was. After having an ultrasound, it was confirmed... my poor gallbladder was sick. Infected, swollen and cram full of stones. Because I hadn't complained of pain, they hadn't thought to look there first. So I was shipped off to Little Rock for surgery... or so I thought.
You see, my gallbladder was very sick, I was very sick. The doctor said if he operated right then, he would have to perform "major" surgery, instead doing it laparoscopic (hope I spelled that right.) So in the best interest of me and my body, and the healing process later, he ordered bed rest, fluids, antibiotics and a "princess" stay in the hospital hotel for a few days. I go later this week for a follow up and we will set the date for the looming surgery. In the mean time, I am to take it easy, follow a strict diet and wait. If I have an attack at all, of any kind, I am to go immediately back to the hospital and they will go ahead and take the sick gallbladder out.
Thanks for the prayers. I am going to make it through all of this. God is good and He has perfect timing. I realized that in the hospital, when my doctor ended up being a man of faith, someone with children in ministry and began talking about the spiritual warfare going on behind all the timing of all this (our VBS is this week and camp is quickly approaching, anxious times for the hubby, without having to worry about a sick wife.) He had the bedside manner of a servant of God and immediately put me at ease. Am I happy about missing camp...NO. But, I know that this is bigger than me.
The positive is that I am learning how strong and "grown up" I can be when needed. I didn't make them chase me down one time with the needles. When the lab Nazi lady came and drew my blood at 3:00 a.m. and HURT and BRUISED me (I still have the evidence!), I just sweetly said "thank you." When they brought me my liquid diet for two days, with scrumptious concoctions that were "out of this world" (not in a good way!!!), I did my best to suffer through it and didn't throw one bowl.
So, here I am, resting on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls reruns, trying to catch up on the world that didn't stop for my three day adventure. I am thankful to be back with my kiddos, in my own bed, with the menu of my choosing (within the limits, of course). However, I am thinking I do miss that "princess" button, though. :)
Special thanks goes to the ladies at work who sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers, they brightened up the princess room. My parents who bought my hubby dinner, brought me a beautiful plant that hopefully even "black thumb" me can't kill, and whose support Friday was felt. (Mama and Dad ALWAYS make things brighter, even at 39 years of age.) My sister, who brought me CUTE jammies, to wear on my walks down the hall, and a bunch of magazines to keep me busy. My nephews who wrote me the sweetest get well cards, that is ALWAYS the best kind of gift. My in-laws who took the kiddos and the dog in, did my laundry and cooked me a yummy bowl of soup for my first lunch back at home. All the friends who stopped by, called or prayed... it was all felt. To my church family for providing and planning meals for the family while I'm down and out. To my kiddos for being troopers, and for giving me the best hugs when I returned... I think they missed me. :) And most of all to my hubby, who stayed with me the whole time. Nothing like a little "sickness and in health" experience to help one realize the marriage is still strong after 17 years. I love you, Kev.
Now that I got my sappy "thank yous" out of the way, I hope to be back checking up on everyone. Hope your summer is going well. God is good ALL the time.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Went to the doctor, yesterday. What was the verdict? A virus. What kind, not sure. All I know is that the testing they did, didn't pinpoint anything, I'm now on two antibiotics, that I thought were going to KILL me last night (empty tummy and meds don't go together friends!!!), lots of rest is the plan, and I can't return to work till next week, just to be on the safe side of things. It will probably take me at least that long just to work up the energy to actually do anything.
Sad thing about being the sick mom, when you do get up and start stirring, you just want to return to bed. I walked into my kitchen a while ago and just turned around and walked out. I was afraid of what might be living in there. My daughter did do a little laundry this week, but she has a bigger problem than even her dear mom about folding and putting away (apple doesn't fall far from the tree sort of thing) so all the clothes are nicely wrinkled on top of the dryer. It is a game for her dad and brother to find clothes to wear each morning...
But, I can't complain. My family has treated me like a princess. I call, they come running. They have all been kind of worried about me, cause it has been a long time since mom was down and out like this. Apart from the nausea, chills and other unmentionables, I have kind of liked it. "They love me, they really love me." :) Oh, and instead of "ringing" a bell, texting is coming in handy. :)
Nothing like being down and out to make you really count your blessings. I have had plenty of time to THINK... not always a good thing, but this time, I think it was a blessing. Here are a few of the blessings I have been thankful for the last few days...
1. My hubby. There are those busy weeks, when us moms feel taken granted at times, but he really has come through for me this past week. I love the guy and I'm so thankful for him.
2. My kiddos. They have their moments, but in the end I realize they both have BIG hearts. I can see little servants emerging in both of them and that makes me so proud. (Now if I could just get them to clean the kitchen, just because. :) )
3. Health on a daily basis... I just have a virus, that hopefully will not stay with me much longer, but my heart goes out to all those moms who have diseases, are on meds or who have disabilities that make their day to day lives so very hard. Prayers, friends. You know who you are...
4. The ability to stay cozy as a princess in my bed, with blankets for the chills, air conditioning for the sweats, meds for the headaches, water for the dehydration, TV for the entertainment and what ever else I could need. I saw plenty of those "Save the Children" commercials this week, which make me weep, and thankful. Even sick, I shouldn't complain. (Sorry, Lord, when I did...)
5. Support and prayers...
I've said it before and I will keep saying it... I do not know how people survive in this world without the power of prayer and faith in the Lord Almighty??? I couldn't. Even on my strongest day, I am weak.
So, am I out of the woods? Not quite yet. Even as I type, I'm starting to feel the need for my friend the pillow. But I do feel better than I did yesterday, and to sick girl here, that is a BIG step in the right direction. Thanks for the prayers. I've missed chatting with you all...
Monday, July 5, 2010
Last Wednesday, the coming home day of a super, family fun vacation, I woke up dizzy. However, by that evening I was feeling better, slept good in my own bed and went to work the next day.
Thursday night I had a few chills... but I again woke up fine. I went to work. About 2:00p.m. I started FREEZING. I mean those nasty chills that come from the inside out, where no amount of blankets or cuddling with the hubby, aka the FURNACE, makes them go away. I was miserable. However, again I woke up Saturday feeling fine. Weak, but fine.
I went to my nephew's baseball game, in another town. He is playing the state championship game tonight (Go Sawdog!!!) and I wanted to see him play one game of the tournament. I was fine at the game, I was fine after the game, however, on my way home...more of the same.
Yesterday, I stayed home from church and all the 4Th festivities. My family went to Toy Story 3 without me. :( and I'm starting to get depressed from just plain feeling bad.
I either have chills and fever or I'm clammy and wet from broken fever. I don't feel like eating, but I am thirsty. I have a dull headache, achy at times, although not bad and I've had a few dizzy episodes. I am going to try and get into the doctor today. Praying it is not the flu or something serious.
In the meantime, I'm trying to find my strength in the Lord, watching lots of useless TV and taking catnaps that seem to only make me feel worse when I wake up. My house is a wreck, life is going on without me AND I DON'T LIKE IT!!!
I've missed chatting with all of you, I just haven't felt like blogging lately. Hopefully, I can catch up real soon. Hope you are having a beautiful summer.
If you don't mind saying a prayer, I would appreciate it.
Friday, July 2, 2010
The hotel where the wedding was held. We stayed there one night.
My son "practicing." His dad has been teaching him the guitar. The wedding was held outside in front of this fountain.
A photo moment. The grounds of the hotel were beautiful, with lots of great places to take a picture or two.
Me and my baby boy, the night of the rehearsal.
And with my baby doll.
Kevin with "the gang."
Her dress was beautiful.
17 years together. We celebrated our anniversary, watching two special young people get married. Not the best of pictures, but in our defense, the sun was bright and it was HOT.
Acting like tourists, we went and saw the "glass" chapel.
We also did some shopping downtown.
Hope you are having a great summer, friends.