An Exhausted, yet thankful heart!

Let me start by saying I am totally exhausted! Yet let me follow that statement with this little tidbit... I'm totally thankful! In an earlier blog I listed all the time consuming "events" I had to help with this past weekend. Well, even though there are still many things left on the calendar for me to do, I can officially say that I survived the big weekend!

Last week started with me having a new job. Around the middle of the week we had some major wind damage around our town that added a little craziness to our world. Friday night I had a "Royal" invitation to attend a princess themed slumber party for the girls of our youth group. ( I stayed the whole night with 40 teenage girls!) Saturday I helped my husband get ready for "Open House" for our brand new youth area and then went to my new Sunday School room to do a little organizing and cleaning. (I got home late!) Sunday morning I taught Sunday School. went to church and then out to eat with the in laws. Sunday afternoon I went to the Open House, then church and then finished the evening with the anniversary celebration for our pastor. I did not get to bed until LATE! I had to clean a space for the guys to have bible study at my house Monday night. After only having four hours of sleep, I went to work at seven, got home at four, finished cleaning, then headed to the girl's bible study at church. I am now home... and very tired!

Now that it is over, I have to say "It was great!" God really blessed us this past week and weekend. I'm thankful for the new job. I'm thankful that the tree that fell went the other direction and didn't land on my roof! I have electricity!!! I'm thankful for all the fun and bonding moments I had during the big slumber party with our youth girls. I appreciate our church and their support in remodeling part of the church for our youth group to have their own space. (It is beautiful too!) I'm thankful for the fun little boys with "ants in their pants" that are in my new little Sunday School class. I appreciate my pastor and his hard work as well as his support for my husband with his job. He has a great family too! And finally I am thankful for the guys and girls Bible studies that took place tonight... I think God has great moments planned for these times.

What bothers me is that sometimes we have to wait till something is over to realize the blessings! I've had many, many things in my life that didn't make life easy. While going through those little fires, I wasn't always a very happy or thankful individual. However, I can honestly look back now at some situations and realize God's plan...

So moral of the story; when you are walking through a little fire, or your worn out searching for rest, remember God wants us to rely on him. You never know what He has planned! the rainbow comes after the rain...

Have a great week! Keep the faith! If I know my God, there is a rainbow of blessings awaiting you around the corner!

My weekend was rough. It plum wore me out! Yet it was all so good! Why all those things had to happen at the same time, well I may never know the answer to that. What I do know is this; I had to rely totally on my Heavenly Father's strength. Oh! I think I may have just answered my own "why?" question.

Forgetting the obvious...

Last week my daughter took her first big test in the 6th grade. She had some quizzes, but this was a TEST and she was just a little bit nervous. When she got home that day I had asked her how she had done. In normal Kayla fashion, her answer was sort of on the dramatic side; "I failed the test! I will never pass the 6th grade! How will I ever become a veterinarian now?!!!"

Well she came home with her graded test today... Needless to say, she did not fail. She made an 89%. I was happy with that... well that is until I looked at the graded test. One question she missed was an essay question. OK, fine, I can handle that. However, the other two questions missed were the obvious. She is studying Arkansas history. We live in Arkansas. Yet on her map, what is the one state she forgets to label? ARKANSAS! Then the second question she missed was what direction is Arkansas from Missouri? OK, I know you might think I'm being a little hard here, but her grandparents use to live in Missouri and we had to travel from ARKANSAS to MISSOURI every holiday!!!

Truthfully, I'm not upset. I just had a really good laugh at her expense! Even she had to laugh at the obvious. After the laughter, though, I started thinking just a little (not always a good thing). I sometimes wonder if God has a sense of humor. I know if He does, I keep him rolling... I guess what I mean is that sometimes I make things "hard," missing the obvious. I have to wonder how many times He says in a single day "This way, my child!" only for me to take a more difficult turn?

My child forgot the obvious on her test and missed two questions because of it. What did I overlook today? What did I miss because of it?

Labor Day?

OK so let me get this straight... Labor Day is suppose to be a "work free" day, right? Then why is it that for me it is a "have a list of things to do before I go to work tomorrow, day!?" I am just a little overwhelmed right now. I think every major project I have to work on right now is for an "event" happening this week or weekend. Here is my list...

1. I start my new job tomorrow, which means I go to work at 7:00a.m. every morning, leaving Kevin in charge to get the kids ready and off to school. In other words, I need my house organized and laundry caught up so that this will be a smooth adjustment for everyone!
2. I start my new job tomorrow, yet I haven't finished all my little projects with my "fill in" job at my husband's office, so I will get off at 4:00p.m. and go to the office and work an hour or so to wrap up what I had started, because the regular secretary doesn't return until Thursday!
3. We are having a huge youth girl's slumber party, Friday night. I am in charge of one of the craft projects, as well as being the adult support, behind the awesome college girls that are pulling the event off. I'm still not sure if I'm going to spend the whole night!
4. Our new youth room is completed, but it still needs some decorating done. Open house is Sunday! Help!
5. I start teaching Sunday School this Sunday. It is our promotion Sunday at church and I will start teaching the 5 year old class. Fun! However, I still need to go look my room over and get it ready for my new class, plus plan a lesson for this Sunday morning.
6. Our big Bible studies for our teenagers start Monday. I'm in charge of several things for the girl's Bible study, while I will need to make sure my house is picked up every Monday night for the guy's study which will be at our house.
7. First week in the month... it is time to pay the bills! Yuck!
8. We have another event on Sunday... but it is a secret. :)
9. My son starts soccer practice this week. Kayla started dance last week...
10. Oh, did I mention I would like to eat and sleep sometime?!

Say a little prayer for me. I will try to blog, after all it relaxes me when I can vent a little... However, if you don't hear from, you'll know why!

Happy Labor Day! Have a "relaxing day" in my honor please!

Losing well, is an artform...

Losing well, is an art form...

That is my great revelation of the day. I just got home from having dinner at my in laws house. After dinner we played dominoes, a game called chicken foot. This is not a new thing. It is not uncommon for us to have a big meal and play a game over there every once in a while, however tonight was different. I don't know if everyone was tired or what, but instead of being fun, the two rounds of dominoes ended up being very stressful. Why? Because everyone in my dear, sweet family is a VERY sore loser, except for myself and my father-in-law.

The truth is I'm not a competitive person at all. However, I have to wonder is it by nature or a learned art form? The reason I asked this, is simply this... If my children are doing something, playing a sport or involved in a contest, I find myself being the true sports mom. I'm screaming on the sidelines, trying not to badmouth the referee or judge, cheering as loud as I can, making up excuses when they lose. When "I'm" playing, deep down I would love to win, but the need doesn't control me. Is that maturity or simply a learned response?

Part of me thinks it is maturity, the reason being my husband has changed a lot 19 years I've known him. When I first met him, he couldn't stand to lose, it would frustrate him to where he would make the game not fun for anyone else. In fact I use to not be able to even enjoy a good win. Yet, today he may still make some noise, but he is more calm and as a dad is willing to take second place.

That being said, he is still very competitive. He wants to win, needs to win or come close, to have what he considers a good time. That is where we differ. I like to win, in fact I enjoy beating him a lot, yet I don't have that same drive. Did I learn this as a defense mechanism, so that when I couldn't hit the ball in softball or came in last when running the track, that it wouldn't hurt so much? Did I develop this laid back attitude after many years of being "picked last?"

Whatever the reason, I've become pretty good at the art of losing. I'm not saying I lose all the time. I do pretty well at some games. What I am saying is I have discovered something I really like about myself... I know how to lose with grace. I can enjoy a good game even when I don't come out on top. Tonight, while Jordan was crying (he was not winning the first hand), Kayla was sitting in unhappy silence (if she is quiet you know something is wrong!), my mother-in-law was huffing and snapping (it was definitely not her night!), Kevin's voice was raised an octave (he was very frustrated at Jordan!) and my father-in-law was defending his win (like I said Grandma was losing!); I was sitting there, losing, with a smile on my face, even cheating so my son and husband could win a few rounds!!! Doesn't it make you wish you were with me tonight?

Art form or not, who cares?! I'm waiting till the day I see how many jewels I really have earned in my crown... didn't Jesus say something about the "first shall be last and the last shall be first?" I wonder if that applies to the world of dominoes! :)

A Food Fight!

To be honest, I really don't have anything to say today. I have no deep words of wisdom to share, no funny little tidbits of news, no venting needing to be done... oh, I take it back! I do have something to say:

AMB, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MOM'S MASHED POTATOES! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED LICKING THE BOWL! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED RUBBING IT IN MY FACE! IT IS A GOOD THING I LOVE YOU! I HOPE MOM MADE YOU WASH THE DISHES... SO THERE!!!

OK, now that I have gotten that off my chest... I think I will go to bed. Nothing like a little sibling rivalry to wear a person out! On the off chance that you are not a family member and you are wondering what the big deal is... let me just say this, my mom's mashed tators are worth fighting for! (Love ya, Mom!) Enough said!

FEAR and the dreaded needle...

FEAR! Such a small, simple word, yet it packs a punch. I'm curious what makes some people prone to be fearful people, fearing EVERYTHING, while other individuals are fearless in the extreme meaning of the word!

I guess I ask this question because I heavily lean towards the fearful side of things. I have phobias that take over my body and seem to be out of my control at times. I have many fears, but there are four that leave me trembling, often sick and sometimes close to passing out. Public speaking, needles, spiders and storms. Just ask anyone in my family and they will tell you... I have it bad.

Now in all fairness to myself, I'm better than I was, that is in some areas. I think having children will do that for you. For example, after being in childbirth, a shot isn't too bad, or when a spider is fixing to jump on your infant...well you do have to learn how to kill a few. When the storms come our way, I do have to remain calm for my son (who hates them too!) and as for public speaking... well I said I was better in a few areas, this just isn't one of them.:)

I was thinking about my fears today as I was walking out of the health department. The nurse had just checked my TB test results. (Tb free, by the way! YEAH!) As I was walking towards my car, I was remembering all the times as a child I would run, screaming in fear of shots. Here I was this quiet, shy child, yet if a needle was brought out, I turned into a child possessed by who knows what!

My mom said that I was never like that before I visited the hospital one night. I was five and having my tonsils out. Prior to that visit, she said I would just hop up on the table and take my shots like a big girl. However, that all would change. Looking back it was the needle itself that did me in. I was use to just getting my finger pricked like Sleeping Beauty... just a drop of blood, no big deal. So in my little five year old eyes, when they brought the big needle out, well I remember being terrified. It probably would have helped the nurses and their cause if they had just let my mom talk to me or hold me for a moment to calm my fear, but that didn't happen. My memory of that night is of several people holding me down while I was indeed possessed with terror! I remember someone even sitting on me!!! Funny thing is I have pleasant thoughts of going into surgery... not fear, yet when I think of being checked in and getting my blood drawn, I still cringe. (Truthfully, I don't know how accurate my story is, I was only five. Whatever happen that day, well, it left me terrified!)

OK, I know I need to put your mind at ease... I did NOT run around the health department screaming when I had my TB test done. No, I was a big girl and they really should have given me a lollipop or sticker for it too! That being said, I have to admit I was still afraid and I find myself asking WHY?

The adult in me, realized before going that if it hurt at all, it would just be a prick, kind of like Sleeping Beauty. However, the little girl in me still swells up with dread, anxiety and fear all rolled in one, when I know a needle is coming my way. (Lord help me if I ever have diabetes and have to check my blood sugar everyday!) This is why I ask the question:

"Why do some people have fears and others are fearless?"

I believe in God and I know he is my strength and source of great help in times of need, yet sometimes "phobias" still get the best of me. In this matter I often want to ask God "why?" I have the type of personality that is prone to worry and hold on to fear. I've looked up scripture, prayed and discussed this with others, yet even though some of my fears are not as strong as they once were, they are still there.

The only conclusion I've come up with is simply this; that God wants to show his power. In his word, he clearly states that he will use the weak of this world to display his strength. I think it also make me a more compassionate person as well, there is that ability to understand and comfort.

So, as I walked to my car today, TB free, I know I had a smile on my face. I had faced a fear, me and God alone, three days earlier. No one had to chase me down or hold my hand... I had walked in of my own free will and by myself. WOW! I guess there is hope for me yet!

Of course I am going to try and not think about the little girl sitting next to me who had to get four shots and never shed a tear... Hmmm... Oh well, I still think I deserved a sticker! I guess that is why I don't feel bad about the shoes I bought on sale afterwards!:)