I was reading a book the other day, feeling a little guilty because there was a mountain to climb of laundry and a sink full of "UGH" to wash up, and here I was READING. And, I have to be honest, it wasn't the Bible either. Yet, I have to believe I was doing what I needed to be doing at that exact moment in time, for I literally felt God speaking to me.
There I was reading along, enjoying a few minutes to myself, when a paragraph of words seemed to dance their way of the page and into my heart. It was like the light bulb in my "mommy heart" went "ding ding" and I finally "got it." God, had my face in His hands and with His Daddy voice said; "Look at me Mich, and listen."
Several posts back, I talked about having the "blahs" and being so excited about going to church...to worship. Nothing wrong with that, right? Worship is why we are created. I love it and I crave it. Nothing makes me feel better than a little praise and worship time with my Lord. Yet, my problem is my perspective.
So many times I limit my worship time, to that hour every Sunday that I am with my church family. I then feel guilt, because of busy schedules at my lack of worship time during the week. Oh, I catch my 15 minutes of devotionals there, prayers in the car here, conversations with the Lord in the shower, etc... but, it often leaves me feeling rushed, guilty, and unfulfilled. Why?
Somewhere along the line, I got the idea that I had to "carve" out some time for the Lord, to worship. Instead of being something I looked forward to, it became just one more thing on my busy calendar to try to accomplish. It became a burden for me to worship, except on Sunday mornings, when I felt I was given permission by the world to let down my guard and praise the Lord. I started looking forward to Sundays, which is great, but then the rest of the week I felt "Blah!!!"
Then I read these beautiful words... "HE wants our songs that we sing on Sundays, but He wants us to live out those words every other day of the week... real worship is a God-attitude of the heart."
HELLO!!! This whole time as a wife and mother I felt like I had to put God on a schedule. I didn't mean too. It just happened. I mean, I had to cook dinner, vacuum the floors, potty train, drive the kids to school, bake a birthday cake, buy groceries, pay bills, go to ball games, help with homework, go back to work, etc..etc..etc... didn't I?
Yes, to be a good mom and wife, we do have plenty of responsibilities. Living up to Proverbs 31 can take a lot of work. Yet, I have been missing something for a lot of years. The "meaning" of worship. True worship isn't just a song we sing, it is in the life we live. We were created to worship our creator and we were created for a purpose. If our purpose is to be a loving wife and mother, in this lifetime and we do that job to the best of our ability, then isn't that a form of worship?
I believe "YES."
"Every mom faces the challenge of keeping a God-perspective in everything she does. However, when we are able to let God define us, mold us, and transform us we'll never see what we do everyday as a mom in the same way. "
In other words, I have been looking at my chores everyday with a horrible attitude, never seeing the opportunities before me...serving my family. I just looked at the glass as being half empty, instead of a half a glass of possibilities. I thought I had to put God, in a little block of time on my planner, so it would be full of "quality," but it ended up mostly being just a "quantity" of empty minutes.
I have said before and I will say it again... I had lost my perspective.
Does that mean that all of a sudden I will "love" housework and that climbing Mt. Laundry is my new favorite past time? No. But hopefully a new perspective will change my attitude a little. That doing my "chores" will not always leave me overwhelmed, tired and frustrated. And hopefully, the devotion time I do set aside will not be filled with guilt and tears, because of feelings of failure as a mom.
Because I want to try, with the Lord's help, to see every little piece of motherhood and marriage as a way to serve and worship the Lord. The good, the bad and even the ugly.
"When we do laundry with the right attitude, it's worship. When we prepare meals for our family with a right heart posture, it's worship. when we drive ten miles out of our way to take our husband his cell phone that he accidentally left at home and we do it with a heart of grace and forgiveness, it's worship.
Jesus lived a life of worship. His heart had a God-filter on it and HE saw the world through God's eyes. May we, as moms, worship God with our hearts and our lives everyday."
Well, friends, I don't know about you, but I have a load of laundry to put on and a few dishes to wash. I think I will turn the music up loud, and make a "joyful" noise... want to join me?
***A few days ago I received a lovely surprise in the mail. It was a package from my dear bloggy friend Kat, from Heart 2 Heart. It was a book called "Real Moms... Real Jesus," written by Jill Savage. All the quotes from today's post are from that book.
Thanks Kat! I needed this little "kick in the rear" to get out of the "blahs" of motherhood. ***