Friday, February 19, 2010

Little Miss Goody Two Shoes...possibly forever....

The other day, I already posted about having a rough time at the Health department over a TB skin test reading. That story is long gone and over with, in fact the only reason I bring it up at all is because I was MAD. I mean steaming, hot, ready to explode... MAD.

I've cooled down since then and have even forgiven the poor people that work there and have to put up with who knows what all day... yep! I can be nice like that.

Anyhoo, back to why I bring it all up again...

When I was leaving the Health Department that afternoon, I called my hubby. I had to vent. You see, if you know me, then you know that I did not make a scene at the Health Department. I may have asked a few questions and they could probably tell I was not happy, but I left quietly. In fact I went straight to my car, grabbed my cell and called Kev.

I say "Hello. You will never believe what happened to me..." and off I went, venting away. But then I realized something. He had me on speaker phone at work. OH YEAH!

I might need to remind you here, that my hubby is a minister and works at a church, etc...etc...etc...

All of a sudden I hear one of the secretaries say "Kevin, you might want to tell her she is on speaker phone, so she doesn't say anything that might embarrass her later."

Hmm... thank you secretary!

My hubby replies "It is Mich, I don't have to worry about her. She would never say anything questionable."

Awww... I should be happy with that, right? In fact the next day when I was personally at the office, one of the gals complimented me on that, saying that it was awesome that he knew me so well and knew that I would never ever talk bad, even when upset. He could trust me with my mouth.

Yeah, there was a part of me that was thankful I hadn't let my mouth fly wide and let the profanity roll. But, if I am totally honest... I felt like I was in high school again, being called "goody two shoes." Is it possible at almost 40 years of age to still feel all "goodyfied?" (Word check does not like me right now.)

Truth is I did many things in high school that I regret. I went through a rebellious period that was not pleasant for me or my parents. But if I'm honest, profanity was never one of my hang ups. I wasn't the kid who talked one way to my parents and then went to school and used every bad word known to man. I just didn't.

Funny thing is that even when I thought it would be cool and would say a questionable word or phrase, it never came out right. I would end up uncomfortable and embarrassed. I've broken many a commandment, but number three has never been a problem. I even had to describe the theme of my post by using "potty mouth." Do people even still say "potty mouth?"

Move forward...

It is now 2010. I have a daughter who is thirteen and a son that is eleven. I was raised in a time when "shut up" and "stupid" were considered questionable words. (We had all the others too, we just wouldn't say these in front of the parents.) My kids are being raised with cartoons that talk about more than just "silly rabbits" and shows that have teenagers getting pregnant. Am I being too hard on them if I do not want them to say words like "crap," "sucks," "butt," "dang it," and so on...?

If I'm honest, I can't stand the words. I will see the most beautiful lady and then hear her talk and I cringe. nothing bothers me more than hearing a two year old say questionable words...nothing cute about it. Does that mean that I ride people about the words they commonly use or never watch a movie or listen to the radio. No. I know it is there. I know that those few words I mentioned above are used everywhere, by parents and children alike. Some of my favorite movies are unfortunately filled with them. I know I am not the norm. I know my kids probably talk differently when I am not around. I'm not naive...

I just wonder if I'm the only mom out there that feels the stress. I mean, when I was growing up, we had it bad, temptations were all around. I think the difference is that today, kids don't know what to think. They are getting mixed signals. They have no idea what is really right and wrong, because everything looks grey at times. And because there is no respect left in our society, the mouths run more freely these days...among all ages.

So, I guess my question is; "What does it mean to have a potty mouth in the year of 2010?"

I am curious where all of you, my dear friends and mothers of your own darlings stand on this issue. What do you consider a "potty mouth" and worth a good "mouth washing?" Am I being too hard on my kids?


Andrea said...

I use the word crap, myself, but sucks is definitely potty mouth at my house. Even though I have the bad habit of using crap from time to time, we don't say stupid, either.

You bring up valid points. I remember my grandfather, a minister and the most godly man I know....Once he burnt his hand on the oven door making me a pound cake...yes, my papa cooked. Anyway, he said, "Dadgummit." Not sure if I spelled that correctly. I asked him about his choice of word, b/c we were not allowed to say anything questionable. He said, that was the best thing he could think of to say without saying something bad and that he was trying not to even think anything bad. This made a profound impact on me. He was doing the best he could in the situation and yes, I have used the word dadgummit a few times in my life, too. Hope you don't think less of me. I am definitely a work in progress with lots of run on sentences, tonight.
Hugs and love,

Tiffany said...

Foul language is actually something that REALLY bothers me. I could have written this myself. My children are not allowed to use many "common words" that we hear today. Such as fart, butt, shoot, gosh, stupid, crap, etc., etc. , etc. We are very strict about it. I think Philippians 4:8 is a good standard. Foul language is just something not tolerated here. I have a really hard time watching movies with filthy words, too.

homeschool101 said...

You are deffinately not the only one. I am always correcting any bad or profound word. Always! Even if it is something so dumb like Fart. I am constantl saying, NO, dont let me hear that word, It is disrespectful and plain rude.

I find myself constantly saying to all of my kids 12 down to 3, Do not repeat that word, It is a no no word.

What disgusts me is that today so many are allowing these words in our childrens movies merely because, that is todays ways like we should just accept it. For the most part, our children are having children and they just dont know how to parent so it is cute to them to see their little one pop our this profound or that profound word.

I am litterally angry at people constantly for their ignorance but mostly disrespect of others and their beliefs. Their is so much disrespect today. I hate being the over stressed parent cautioning our children on all the "Dont Let me hear this word out of your mouth."

A simple reminder of when I was a child, I would tell them I would have my rear end beaten til I couldnt sit because of the belt sting on my rear, or the nasty taste of soap in my mouth which we have had to use a few times on my step daughter because her mom allows the filthy mouth.

So annoyed. Why cant we make a country for all the disrespectful clowns to live and let us live in peace here. Thats my thought in dream world. Lol.

Kristin said...

You know, I'm not sure how I feel about this topic. There are certain words I just don't say and do not allow my girls to say, like shut up or stupid. In the drum & bugle corp I was in in high school, shut up was not allowed and that always stuck with me. Still, I do slide and say things I shouldn't, mostly when I'm aggravated. It's never directed at a person, just under my breath. I have no idea what is considered bad these days. Seems pretty much every word is all over TV. To me, they are just words. I think it's the intent behind it. Even non-curse words can be horrible, when spoken with malicious intent. That's just my take on it. But, I do believe saying bad words is a sin and something we should not do.

He & Me + 3 said...

I think cussing and using crude language is too much. I also think the tone and the context is a big part of it too.

Anonymous said...

Like you, "potty mouth" was never a struggle of mine. And I don't allow my kids to say stuff that a lot of their friends are allowed to say. I believe the Bible is clear that Christians should be set apart by the words they used. But one day when I was so busy patting myself on the back that I almost threw my shoulder out, I realized that I don't set myself apart when I use an ugly tone, am sarcastic and critical or gossip. I may not cuss but I really struggle with my mouth. I hope I can teach my children it's not just the words they don't use that sets the apart as believers.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

If it's offensive to you, then you are responsible for passing that teaching onto your kids. While my older two were growing up, we were very strict about certain things (movie, music, etc.). An occasional slip of the tongue has never been a big deal to me... it's such an easy habit to pick up (depending on company kept), and a very difficult habit to break. I cannot abide the Lord's name being taken in vain, but I haven't stressed over some of the others because it just happens... guilty as charged.

Is that an excuse? Well, I suppose it is, but as a mother, I've learned to pick my battles and usually, a simple correction along these lines is all that is needed.

I'm much more concerned about what my kids are watching, listening to, what they wear, who they emmulate. My vigilance there prevents some of the questionable language you're talking about here.

Have mercy... had I been on speaker phone, I'm pretty sure I would have blown my witness. I so need a safe place for my words to land, and my husband fits the bill!

I know this doesn't help very much, and I've rambled on, but here's the short version...

I've never worried about this a great deal because I haven't had to.


Gretchen said...

I used to swear all the time, but as I've had children and grown in faith (in that order), I've tried to repent. I do get a bit stuck though, because in my background as a speech therapist, I know that language is arbitrary, and we ASSIGN horrible meanings to words. For example, in church-speak, I would never say s--t, but I would say "stink". The attitude is the same. So for me, I may stray and throw off a word on rare occasion, but I'd be more worried if my heart were full of stink.

Still...I know our words should be pleasing. I am trying to balance not overreacting w/realizing that are children ARE exposed to a lot, and they will try it out. I'd rather they try it out at home so we can have a teachable moment. Fun? Notsomuch, but teachable.

Great post.