Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had the day off from work, but that was about the only plus. I tend to be one of those people who keeps EVERYTHING bottled in and then one day it EXPLODES out. The waterworks start and I turn into a weepy mess. I guess since I was alone, just me and God, it was as good a time as any to let the emotions roll.
It started with taking my kids to school. Miss it just a little. Actually, scratch that, it wasn't the "taking to school" I miss, but rather being that "stay at home mom" of old. Being off from work yesterday just emphasized that loss. The guilt, the frustration, the missed events all surfaced yesterday. Add the fact that my hubby was gone taking care of business with his mom and her surgery... well, God and I had a cry fest. Actually, I had a crying fest, but I know God was listening and holding me tight. My God is so great like that!
Then, I sat down at the computer. I needed a little inspiration, a little word from the Lord. I had already tried to search my beloved Bible, but couldn't focus or concentrate on any Scripture. So, I asked for His Help. So has I was searching blog land, I went straight to Beth Moore's blog, in search of a little word from the Lord. In a round about way I connected to her Wednesday Bible study that she does on TV. She did not disappoint and once again God used her to speak to me in a BIG, BIG way.
Her opening statement?
"We've got to give God the time to turn some trash into treasure. Every single thing that happens to us, given time, God can turn those moments into treasure."
Hello! It was as if God was saying "Baby girl..." (You know that is how Beth talks!) Anyway, "Baby girl, are you understanding ME? Are you getting the whole picture? You are where you are and if you will just be patient I will show you "WHY?" and turn your circumstances around into something beautiful. "
My friend Beth (I consider her a friend, because I have done 7 of her Bible studies, have seen her live 3 times and now I watch her on my computer. We are tight!), was talking about her own demons from childhood and the abuse she dealt with as a little girl, but I think God was letting me know that the verses she shared and the God given words she spoke were for ANYONE with a hurting heart, for whatever reason. We have all come to roads on our journey through life, that for whatever reason are hard to deal with. This is a cruddy world we live in sometimes. It is hard, as a mom, not to get bogged down with the hurts, fears and anxiety that wants to run rampant and load us down. It is hard not to look to the Lord and say "WHY? WHY this? WHY now? WHY me?"
I have dealt with changes all my life, some good, some bad and some just plain HARD. But many times, I can look back at what seemed to be a "dark" period in my life and see the beauty that came from it. Right now, I may be struggling with some situations I do not like. Some things that are not easy. But, God is telling to be patient, for He can and will turn my frustrations into treasures and blessings if I keep plugging along in faith.
Beth shared a verse that is a new treasure for me. A new little promise of hope for the "dark" moments.
"I will give you treausres of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know I AM the LORD." Isaiah 45:3
Isn't that great? Even when things don't seem as bright as we would like, those moments can still be turned into rich rewards.
I'm better today. Did life get easier over night? No. But my heart decided to change a little and try to be patient. Life still happens. It is sometimes going to be yucky. But I am going to chose to believe daily in my Heavenly Father who loves me enough to send His son to die for me. I am going to chose to wait patiently for those "jewels in my crown."
Inspiration to hold on? Read one of the best chapters in the Bible about FAITH. Hebrews 11.
I read it aloud yesterday and was humbled by the circumstances and the faith of those who have gone before me. God is good and HE takes care of His own. HE just asks me to believe and be patient...