Saturday, April 17, 2010

Nothing Like a New Pair of Shoes to Make the Week a Little Brighter...

My baby girl had a hard week. Between the Benchmark and her friends, I wasn't sure if she would come out alive. Wednesday was the day it all hit the fan, so to speak. Seriously, what does it take to find a good friend these days? "Kindred spirits" in the seventh grade are few and far between, I'm telling you.

As I have said before, Kayla has a sense of style all of her own. She has the independent, free spirit attitude to pull it all off too. Most of the time, as long as she is modest, her dad and I let her express herself. Some days it can backfire...

Wednesday she wore a questionable combination. I didn't see it till after I got home from work, but I didn't think it was terrible. I probably wouldn't have put the items together, but then I feel that way about a lot of things she wears, that everyone thinks is "so cute." Anyhoodle, she went to school and was attacked. Not only was she attacked for what she was wearing but it was her FRIENDS that did the attacking! One "friend" picked everything a part... EVERYTHING.

THEN, to make things worse, another FRIEND informed my sweet girl that she was on a list of "ugly" girls that one of the boys had talked about. Nothing hurts a 13 year old more than for someone to call them ugly. Shoot, nothing hurts a 39 year old (me) more than for someone to tell me that I am ugly.

As you can guess, tears were shed. Angry words were vented (all at home, of course). And my baby was in "depressed" mode all Wednesday night. However, I was very proud of her. You see, she might have been hurt, but she didn't come straight home from school and change her clothes, she wore the same outfit to youth group. The only thing changed was her shoes. And we still went and picked up the other friend to take her to youth with us, and not a word about it was said. Kayla was only a little quieter that night is all. She was strong and I loved her for it.

You see, she knows that not everyone likes her style. Shoot she is use to my raised eyebrow. No, what crushed her was that it was her FRIENDS that decided to gang up on her that morning and pick her apart. She also deep down believes that a certain boy has a right to his opinion. Truth is, Kayla doesn't think he is very cute either. She hurt mainly because her friend decided to throw otherwise useless info back in her face, for no reason. It wsn't like Kayla asked whether he liked her or anything. Kayla never gave him a second thought until Wednesday.

So, as you can imagine, I tried to be the best mommy I could be. This was one time that I told the truth when I said "I so understand!" And I do. I have so been there. Let's see, there was the time that my best friend went out with the boy she KNEW I was in total love with. OR how about the time that my boyfriend told me that his best friend thought I was ugly. That stung. Or the time I wasn't invited to the big party and everyone else was. Yep! Life stinks sometimes. The teenage years can be so brutal on the self esteem. I spent the evening trying my best to encourage her and let her know that she will survive.

After encouraging, lending a shoulder for tears and boosting her self esteem back up again, I did the only thing I could. I promised her a girls night Saturday.

Today, being Saturday was our date. We went here...





Retail therapy people! We bought a new shirt and earrings. I bought the shirt for her and she spent her allowance on the earrings.

And then we went here and I finally saw the smile of smiles.





My girl found her a new pair of shoes. Did I tell you that my girl loves her some shoes?! Well she does. She found these...






They had just enough "bling" to make her a very happy girl. I liked them 'cause I paid less. :) Actually I had to do the "BOGO" thing, so I got me a new pair as well...





Comfy. And just so they don't look like "grandma" shoes, they are silver with a silver buckle. Kayla liked them, so I guess I did good. :)

We also went and saw this...




I cried. I am not a huge Miley fan. I'm afraid I got burned out on the whole Hannah Montana thing when Kayla was younger, but she did a good job in this movie. Being a Nicholas Sparks fan, I knew I would love it. His movies make me smile, laugh and cry. I always leave the theater feeling better because I think I have released about every emotion possible. It was a good movie.

And my baby girl is smiling again. Funny, what a little shopping, a new pair of shoes and time with mommy can accomplish. I cherish these moments, for I know as she gets older, they will be fewer and farther apart.

There was a song from the movie called "When I look at You." I know in the video it is a "love" song, but I think it can apply to anyone we give our love to.


Hope you are having a beautiful weekend spending time with those you love.













11 comments:

Angel Muly said...

It really saddens me that so called "friends" do things like this. Your daughter is beautiful and I know after reading her journal the other day, she also has an inner beauty that so many kids don't these days. You are a wonderful mom and I am so glad you got a pair of shoes out of the deal, after the week you had, you deserve them. Blessings to you!!
Angel
allthemus.blogspot.com

He & Me + 3 said...

That hurts my heart for your girl. I can't stand how cruel and mean kids are these days. Your daughter is beautiful and precious and her style is amazing and different wrapped in one and I love that. I was just talking to Model about being different and standing out in the crowd. I love that Kayla does that.
The shoes you both picked out are ADORABLE>

Bridget said...

I'm so sorry that happened to Kayla. She's gorgeous by the way, and I love her style. Glad some retail therapy and some girl time put a smile back on her face.

Sharon Sloan - Joy In The Truth said...

Praying for Kayla. May His truth free and heal her heart. May she be anchored and secure in His perfect love for her. May God bring her a Jonathan kind of friend, rather than Saul kinds of friends.

Prayerfully,
Sharon

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

A new pair of shoes is always a fun treat! I'm a shoe freak though!

The drama of little girls, I remember how traumatic it was when I was her age. Kids are so mean. I remember people calling me ugly. I was crushed. Friends turn on you. I've experienced a little of this with one of my older son's friends. He saw him at a church event but because he was with another friend, he pretended he didnt' even know him. It just crushed Josh. Because we homeschool, friends are not plentiful.

Kristin said...

I remember those days too Mich, but you know what I was thinking the whole time I was reading this? That you were there for her and she came to you. Not every girl has that with her Mom and that is a priceless treasure. I had that with my Mom too. That is my prayer, that no matter what my girls go through, they will always have sanctuary in our home and can feel loved and accepted and will come to me for reassurance. That is just such a beautiful thing. I am so thankful to have blog friend like you too, Mich, as my oldest is heading into the double digits this year and I know I will need lots of advice. I miss that my Mom isn't here for stuff like that anymore, but I know the Lord gave me my blog friends to help me through.

I'm glad y'all had a great girls day. And I love that she is not going to compromise her style just because someone said something mean. That's awesome!!! She is a beautiful girl, inside and out!

黃郁順 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kellie said...

I remember those days... when friends weren't always acting like friends. I did not enjoy those years and I am not looking forward to them for my own kids. The thing that is important is that we always let them know how valuable they are in God's eyes and that God's opinion of us is the only one that really matters. Of course, at that age sometimes even that is hard to see. Glad you were able to have a "Girl's Day"... those are always day brighteners!!! :)

Amber said...

I'm so sorry, honey. My heart breaks for her, but is so comforted to know that she is staying strong and true to herself.

She'll make it out of this.

Love you much.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm thinking that I would like to go to that movie, but can't find anyone to go with me... baby girl is only 7, and I'm trying to keep the "girls grow up too fast" syndrome at arm's length. I do, however, look forward to moments like this with her in days to come (minus the teasing). Her hair is short so she is always being called a boy. We're working on that, but with 3 older brothers and her mother a tomboy of sorts, she doesn't much worry about it all... yet.

Oh, and I bought some shoes this weekend as well. Comfort over fashion!

peace~elaine

snoodlings.com said...

I have a friend who has an eighth grader. Her daughter is really struggling and it's mostly because of her Christian friends. Since they don't drink or sleep around I think sometimes they wear their halos a little too tight and don't realize that their spiteful, catty ways are also unpleasing to God.