Monday, July 13, 2009

The Pity Party of the Working Mom...

This is my first summer to work full time after becoming a mom. For thirteen years I had the privilege to stay at home with my babies, only working occasionally out of my home. My schedule was my own. Fast forward 12 years, to last summer. Due to bad money decisions in the past, the sky rocketing gas prices of last summer and just the simple fact that the older my kids get, the more they go, do and need...well daddy looked at mommy and said "Sorry, sweetie, but you are going to have to go back to work."

Unfortunately due to circumstances that is a whole different story in itself, maybe for another post, the job I have is hard work, hard hours and little pay. That also is a story for another post.

My point really is that during the school year, I manage alright. I just go along, because everyone is busy too. But the summer?!!! It is killing me. I am a big fat pity party waiting to happen and here is why...

1. Today is the first day of our VBS at church. The first year in TWELVE years I haven't been a part of it. I LOVE VBS! I was even the director at another church for 6 years. I love the themes, the music, the kids and of course the snacks. What's not to love about it?!!! It is killing me...

2. My sister, the teacher, who I love and adore, who has her summer off to romp around and play with her kids and go see my parents whenever she wants. Can you feel the jealousy right now? Actually, I'm glad she is able to do all of that. I just want to too. I am trying to take off for a road trip with her in August and I do have a vacation planned for the end of this month, but still...

3. I think if mom has to get up at 5:30 a.m. every morning to be at work by 7:00 a.m., that the whole family should get up with her, don't you? Seems fair to me!

4. I also think if mom has to eat a sandwich or tuna for lunch, then she shouldn't find out that her whole family and a group of her friends went to her favorite Mexican restaurant without her today, after VBS. (And then I have to cook dinner tonight... something so wrong with that!)

5. I don't think my kids have the right to say they are "tired" and have had a "hard day" when mommy is the actual one who "worked" today. I guess Sponge bob could irritate one to the point of crankiness...

6. My oldest is stomping around right now as I type... hmm... doesn't she know this is my "pity party?" She is off for the summer, it won't hurt her to do a load of laundry, will it?

7. If I hear my son say "I'm bored" one more time, I just might start charging him. I might have just discovered a way to pay for college. OH, to be bored. Sounds blissful.

8. When you hear of activities going on among friends, receive the invite to be a part, only to get the "look." You know the LOOK. The one where everyone realizes you can't do something because you work. But hey! They thought of me, right?! I'll keep telling myself that.

9. How about when the neighborhood kids come over to play and you hear one of the boys (yes boys!!!) say, "You're right Jordan, your house is a mess!" Humiliating talk from a 10 year old. Moms that work should have free maid service. Especially in the summer when the kids and the hubby are in and out all day! Impossible to keep a clean house!

10. This pity party is brought to you by the "pale" mom (yes, I have a real hangup over my fair skin, especially in summer!). There is no hope of the mom who can't tan to even get a little color at all, if she is locked up all day at work, not allowed to go outside and play...

Am I complaining? Maybe just a little. I know there are many moms who work even harder than I. I am thankful that I have my weekends free and most holidays. I have just been blessed with the ability to stay home with my kids for many years, so this mommy is still "adjusting" to her new situation. I'll be alright. I am thankful for a job, and a little extra income that helps pay for the dance lessons, baseball uniforms and fun trips.

Truth is, what I really need is a vacation....

Oh wait, in a week and a half I'm going to have one of those. :)


Heart2Heart said...


You are so cute. I love the pity party. I use to own the chain of restaurants, Pity Party of 1, pull up a chair.

You are entitled to feel that way. Life is difficult when stay at home moms must return to the work force regardless of the situation.

It was not the way God planned which is why you are digging your heels in so much!

Take heart in knowing that this too shall pass and the situation is only temporary!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Jim said...

Your PP "invitation" has been received and I have just entered the door of the place where it's being hosted!!! I'm "trying" the new "steps" to the music you're playing - it's one of those slow, melancholy rhythms, isn't it? I am "in step" with you, as you move through the tune being played. I'd try to "liven" it up a bit, as I been known to do before, but sometimes the music just needs to run its course, and I know that you have already begun to lift your beat just a little. Just know that any PP invitation you give that I receive, I'll never fail to attend and bring an upbeat note or two to change your PP to one that is filled with joy and blessing. I heart you with all my heart, dear daughter. I look forward to our time together this month. "Keep looking ahead, and UP!"

In our Lord,

He & Me + 3 said...

Awww, I know that must be hard to be back to work when you are used to being with the kids in the summer. I know I will be the same way when it is time for me to hang up the SAHM title and head back to work. I hope I have a few more years...but you never know. Hope you have a great vacation in a few weeks and enjoy every minute of it.

Sharon Sloan said...

Oh, your heart is touching mine. I feel your ache and believe in your Anchor of Hope. As you honor Him, He will honor and bless you. May you see Him at work in special ways this your heart and your family's hearts.

Your complexion is beautiful. Tan skin is over-rated. :)

Amber said...

So I had something really sassy to say (shockin', I know), but I decided that I better not say it, because it would cause you to add another number to your list.

11. My sister has a smart mouth.

So...just know that you have cute hair, you are my Martha Stewart, and on all these frolics that I'm taking with the children...there is a HUGE amount of whining, fussing, crying, and punching of siblings.

Oh...and roadtrips are so much FUNNER with you.

Love ya.
I'll see ya in a week...and we'll probably have so much family fun together, you'll be aching to go back to work. Just sayin'!

Jo said...

Oh, dear one...I do feel for you. After many, many years of working outside the home, it's a joy to not have to not have to be on someone else's schedule, now that I'm retired!
I think I had maybe 2 years of SAHM in total, during Rich's growing up, and that was when he was a baby. Oh, how I appreciated my vacation time...usually spent traveling back to AR to visit family. One big exception was when I went to Bangkok for 3 weeks, to see my beautiful niece graduate from high school. That was way over the top for me!
Enjoy the time you have now, even though it's limited, for those little ones will grow up all too fast.
In the words of your Sis, "I heart you so much!"

Aunt Jo

christy rose said...

I completely feel for you. I can not imagine have to go back to work while my kids were all home for the summer. I understand that happens some times and I understand how you must feel. But, God is good! He will bring good out of this time in your life. He is into that you know! He works everything out for our good. Doesn't mean it was all His way or His will, but He will make good come from it, more than you can even imagine. I am so glad that you are going to get to go on vacation soon and see your sister. I hope you have a wonderful time. Enjoy every minute of it! God Bless! Praying for you,

Gretchen said...

It will be redeemed, my friend. Hang in there. Your work, both in and out of the home is a blessing to those around you. And so are you.

makeyourhomesing said...

Oh I understand. I would be traumitized if I had to go back, lol!

I remember talking to my hubby on the cell phone and he heard me say "I'd like a medium diet coke please" and he said "Where are you?"

I was at the McDonald's drive thru and he was at work, of course, and it was a very warm day. He said "I'd like one of those!"

E @ Scottsville said...


I had ten or eleven years at home with my kids. Then had to go back to work. My job is 'easy' but the pay isn't good and I am bored all day long. I hate having to get up when the rest of the house sleeps. I hate hearing my kids say they're bored. Oh what I'd give to be home and bored. I hate getting home and seeing my house in a total wreck and they're ready to go do something FUN while I'm ready to crash and veg on the couch. I missed VBS and I had a pity party about it.


really.truly said...

You are not complaining....just sharing! And we are here to listen. I'm sitting here thinking of the words to encourage you...and my mind is mush....I'm just sorry that you are feeling sad about this and I too feel for you:( I hope you have a great week and fabulous weekend!!

Mocha Momma said...

Mich, you're scaring me. Our reasons are the same & our feelings might be the same once I start working.

I can totally see how you are feeling this way. You need some prayer, a vacation and some love & recognition.

I'll do my best from here. Keep your eyes on the Lord at all times.
Ask for prayer. I'll be praying for you.

Take care

Stephanie @ My Answered Prayer said...

I've had many of these...I can remember the days of coming home at 5:30 having to cook, clean, laundry, etc while the neighbors sat outside visiting and having a good ole time...I was always so jealous. And summers were the worst. I'm so glad for the opportunity to stay at home but who knows when I'll be back at work. Hopefully you can come home soon again!

Deb said...

Every now and then, we all need to have a little pity party.

So sorry that you're having to work this summer.

Great hairstyle! (previous post)

And just remember having a with-it hairstyle does compensate for some things.