Thursday, July 9, 2009

Tears...



Remember this book? I do. I got my first copy thirteen years ago. I remember reading it cover to cover. I then bought the follow up books too. I was going to be prepared...

I have a complaint. Within the covers of that book, they forgot to mention how many times a mother's heart will break. They left out the part where a mom has to be on her knees daily in prayer or she will not survive. That you can have the sweetest, smartest most beautiful babies, but they will learn what the word "pain" means and you will have to get them through the moments.

Last night was a night for tears in my household. My son had watery eyes after "venting" his frustration a little over not getting his way. Discipline can be so hard at times. Heart cracking just a little more as you try to stand your ground, not wanting to be called "mean" yet wanting what is best for the child you love. Especially when they don't understand and it may take 15 more years until he really "gets it" and appreciates his mom. "It really is harder on me than him" sometimes...

And then there was my daughter. This teenage age is so hard. I've known it for a long time, with my husband being in student ministry, but nothing prepares you for the heartache you feel over your daughter's tears. Last night was over being ignored by some more "popular" girls that happen to go to our church. The painful part is they love her dad, their minister, but will not give her the time of day unless he or I are around. What do you say to that? I have plenty of answers, I've been dishing them out for years now. But when the child is my own...

Motherhood can stink sometimes. The unconditional love we feel for our kids, well we think everyone should have it. Unfortunately that is not how the real world works. There are always going to be the bullies, the "mean girls," the "unfair" teacher, the insensitive coach, that one person that's goal is to get on their nerves... Some battles we can fight for them, others we can cheer from the stands. However, it is those moments that we can't control or change that hurt the most. Feeling so helpless when the tears flow, lying through your teeth saying everything will be better tomorrow, when you have no clue. When all you can do is pray, while your heart is breaking for your child.

No, nobody ever warned me about the tears. Tantrums, yes! Screaming, I was warned on. Stubbornness, I married their father didn't I? Fighting among siblings, well I have been there and done that! Bullying, a visit to the principle is in order. Name calling, we turn the other cheek. Tears and hurt feelings? Total helplessness.

Nobody ever told me what to expect. I am just thankful that I do know what to expect one day. For there is a book that has left nothing out. The Bible. I am thankful for the promises it holds within it's covers. I am thankful that along with prayer a band aid is put on my cracked heart every time circumstances send floods of tears my way. I know I can't always stop my children from the hurt this world offers, but I can teach them who holds the peace that can dry their tears and mend their hurts. They have a loving Heavenly Father who knows all the answers when mom falls short.

Thank you, Jesus!

"HE will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more...mourning or crying or pain..." Revelation 21:4

17 comments:

Amber said...

Hug Jor and Kay for me and tell them that their Auntie Amb loves them so ridiculously much.

And I love their mama something fierce, too.

My heart is aching for those babies...and for you....but you'll make it through. And so will they. Honest.

E @ Scottsville said...

Ahhhh, that was me on Sunday night. I had a tearful 12-year-old who's feelings had been hurt by a teacher none-the-less. Sometimes the ADULTS feel the need to put their feelings onto a child and it just kills me, too.

Yep, I read that book. You're right it didn't prepare you for the pain... but it also didn't tell me how perfectly complete and full my kids would make me feel.

Praise God for our babies, huh? Can you imagine life without them? I sure can't. I'll take the pain and heartache cuz it comes with so much joy and love!!!

Thank you God!

christy rose said...

Mich,
What a sweet, endearing post. I read that book cover to cover too when I first started having kids. And you are right there is nothing in there about heartbreak. But the proper Book where all the answers lay are in the Living Word, Jesus Christ. He heals the brokenhearted. Leading our children to Him will empower them forever to endure and handle every dart of rejection that comes their way. And us too! :) This was so real and honest what you wrote today. Kids are God's greatest gift to us, He will not leave us helpless in any circumstance that they face.
God Bless,
Christy

S and J said...

Excellent post, friend!! Just excellent...

Tiffany said...

I loved this post! Very well written from the heart. Ohh those tears what they do to our Mommy heart.

Lauren said...

I remember the first time I read the pages of that book - only to re read it constantly feeling like it failed me miserably... until the day I finally through it away. Mothers experience many different kinds of heartache through the years... I am praying for you!

California Isoms said...

This is so sweet and so full of genuine love for your children. Your children are so fortunate to have you to teach them, love on them and share God with them. I am glad you have God to help your heart. I don't remember how I found your blog, but I'm glad I did.
Cory =)

Jim said...

Sis,
I thought I was leaving a comment on this blog and it came up on the previous one:

Sis,
What I commented on last time, on your "bad day", goes double for your two. Please tell them Poohpa sent a hug!

Love you,
Jim-Dad

Gretchen said...

How blessed they are that you will weep over them, Mich.

But I know...it's harder than we thought hard would ever get, huh?

Blessings.

Dani Joy said...

Oh I will just fall apart I think if/when my boys have tears.

Just recently our oldest hamster died and we all cried. I cried more cause they were crying.

My oldest isn´t one for tears but when he gets teary eyed It´s all I can do to hang in there.

I am sure your daughter just appreciated your listening ear and your hugs. My mom use to say to me when I would cry my eyes out to her that "Joy comes in the morning". I would always feel better after a good talk with her and my Lord. Lord willing she will learn to lean on Him through the disappointments.

And may God give you strength through this time. Bless you.

Thanks for coming by and for your encouraging words. Look forward to getting to know ya better.

He & Me + 3 said...

Yes, noone warned us about that...I hate to see my kids hurting over something. It does break my heart too. Thank God we do know someone that has all the answers and can be a comfort in hard times. Still hard to see them hurting.

Joye @ The Joyeful Journey said...

That is so true!! Nobody prepares us for the tears. Thank God for His mercy and his grace during these mothering years! I know I need Him every day--I have no clue what I'm doing!

christy rose said...

Mich, I have an award that I would like to share with you. Please stop by and pick it up when you get the chance.
Christy

momstheword said...

I too have hurt when my children have been hurt by someone's behavior.

I remember feeling left out as a child at times, and then you see it happen to your own child.

I know some moms who got involved when their teenage children had conflicts with other kids, but then the moms start getting upset with each other and had their own conflict.

Long after the kids made up the moms were still mad and upset with each other. It's just a roller coaster of emotion.

So we did what you did, just walk and love 'em through it, but stayed out of it.

Lol! How funny, my dog would do the same thing anytime any clothing was left lying on the ground.

Heart2Heart said...

Well, since you were out blog hopping, I had to stop by and see who you were. Must say I love your blog and where you are headed in your writings.

I can completely relate as a mom to a teen turning 16 in a couple weeks and a 10 year old daughter as well. Two girls. Yikes!

Anyway I thought it would be fun to follow you and see how much fun we could have getting to know one another! I hope you stop by more often!



Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Mocha Momma said...

Hey, what's new? hope you had a wonderful, bountiful Friday after yesterdays events.

have a great weekend
Nannette

mimi said...

I wanted to come over and say "hi"...I'm honored to call your sis Amber my friend. As I look through your comments here...I think we have a few people in common. It's nice to meet you! I hope you don't mind if I keep visiting :)