I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING or HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!!!
Are you surprised?
Those of you who really know me, are not surprised at all. You know that I have gotten where I am today, by a journey of "good, bad and ugly," just like everyone else.
Have you ever wondered what people think when they see you? I am not talking latest fashion trends, flat ironed hair and pearly white teeth. I am talking about "YOU." You know, the person that comes out under pressure, the person that laughs and cries, the person who like everyone else in this world makes right or wrong choices moment by moment of EVERY day. How do you think people see you, really SEE YOU?
The last few weeks I have been thinking about this a lot. I have been trying to read and study my Bible more, getting up thirty minutes earlier in the mornings, not closing my eyes at night until I have read at least one chapter. Some days, the words on the page "JUMP" out at me, others, God shows me through the day, how that verse and message apply to me.
It is simply amazing.
Here I am, a Christian woman. I have gone to church my WHOLE life. I went to a Christian university, where Old and New Testament classes were required. I married a minister, taught Sunday School and Vacation Bible School, been to revival after revival, conference after conference, Bible Study after Bible Study...
Yet, it still amazes me how God can show me something NEW, every time I open the pages of His Word. WOW!
I have been convicted lately about my attitude. I have been convicted lately over my self control, especially where my mouth is concerned and I have been convicted over how the "world" around me views me each day. It hasn't been fun. Praying the Lord, will grace me with patience, or close the lips of my mouth when the time is right, in NEVER fun. Praying to be an example is a hard prayer.
Trying to live that prayer is even harder.
The other day, a girl at work called me "preacher woman." She didn't mean it as an insult, it wasn't necessarily a compliment. It was stated as fact. "Don't make me say that in front of the preacher woman!"
We all laughed, including me. Yet, I left that day burdened. She had put me on a pedestal. Being around me, made her want to watch her words and attitude. That is a good thing. However, I didn't see any evidence that she wanted to CHANGE and be like me. In fact, if I wasn't around, she wouldn't have given her words a second thought. I felt almost like an inconvenience, something in the way of them having "fun."
OUCH!
I am called to be a light for Jesus. I am called to live and be something that others would want to be. When those around me each day, really look at me, they need to see the "fruit of the Spirit." They need to see the "joy" I have, just by knowing the Savior on a personal level.
I don't want to be seen as the party pooper. I want to be seen as the person who knows where the real party will be one day!!! I want people to look at me and say "I want what she is having..."
After mulling over this for a few weeks, I opened my Bible and read this verse, this morning;
"...in hope that I may somehow arouse my own people to envy and save some of them." Romans 11:14
This sweet little gem of a verse stood out to me, and I knew God was telling me that He is there to help me on this latest journey of self awareness. Even Paul felt the burden of being an example to the world. Not just the world, but his own people, his friends and family. He finally just had to hope that at the end of the day, the joy he had in the Lord would be enough for those he cared about to want to follow the Savior. His passion was that they would love the Lord he had come to know and love. His goal was to accomplish this by example.
So, I guess at the end of each day, I must simply ask myself; "was I the envy of all my friends and coworkers?" "Did they see something different in me today?" "Did I "stand out" in my attitude or response to situations, or did I just blend in?"
Did I...
"Live, so people will want what I have?"
10 comments:
Sis,
Good blog, daughter! Very challenging. It put me in mind of the quote I saw this week by a lady who has a ministry of helping others with their attitudes, etc. Here name is Dawna Markova. She wrote: " I choose to risk my significance. To live so that, that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom, and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit." Says a lot about our motivations and priorities, doesn't it!
For my money, some of your sharing is right along side of hers.
Proud of your deep searching heart.
Jim-Dad
"is this why your so upbeat all the time" a co worker asked me the other day...We ended up talking about Jesus, about His lavish love, and what He has done in my life. I shared scriptures with her, told her that I had been praying for her for months now (without her even knowing). I loved this devotional that you have written girl...and it's just confirmation to my heart what God has been revealing to me as I have started working outside the home...people are SEEING Jesus in me...He must increase I must decrease.
Great food for thought! It is so true how God reveals new things as you study his word. Thanks for sharing from your heart.... makes me want to think more about some thing that I struggle with.
Have a great weekend! :)
Those are great thoughts. How often we fail to be what God wants, but God still uses us where we are each and every day. I am so thankful for the lessons learned and what God shows me EVERY day. He is so good. I appreciate your realness!
I always enjoy reading your perspective....
Excellent perspective Mich!! I want to live so that people will want what I have too!! It must be the God inside of us that stirs us to make a difference in other people's lives.
Hope you have a great weekend!!
Love this!
Ever notice how those folks who make you feel 'in-the-way', or like a 'party-pooper', are usually the ones who make a beeline right for you when they have a problem?
Keep shining you're light. They can't help but be drawn!
Love you!
I know exactly what you are saying. I hate it when people find out that I have six kids and homeschool them, they think I'm so kind of super woman. I'm NOT!!! I fall flat on my face everyday. I don't like being on the pedastle, but sometimes we find ourselves there no matter how you try to tell them how God has changed you.
I do want people to see Christ in me. I want them to see that there is something different about me. But in a humble way. I hope this makes sense. If I am to boast, let me boast about my God!
That is good that these people see that there is something different about you.
Awesome post. I was just talking about this the other day...everytime I read the Bible I learn something new. Even if I have read the same scripture over and over again.
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