This past weekend, I think the school nerves caught up with my daughter. She is going into the 7th grade this year and of course it is a whole new world. A world in which she so desperately wants to fit in to. She doesn't necessarily want to be the most popular, for that is too much "pressure," as she puts it. She just simply wants to be liked.
I went through the whole mom talk, AGAIN, about how just because someone doesn't talk to you, it doesn't mean they HATE you. And that girls in 7th grade tend to change who their BEST friend is daily. Nerds in junior high can grow older to be Prom Queen, while popular kids can do something stupid in their lives and be the center of gossip and ridicule, for years after high school. In other words, you just never know... your joy and security has to come from somewhere else in this life, not laid in the hands of snotty nosed teenagers!
As I type this, I'm giving myself this speech. I'm going to go out on a limb and be very honest today. Am I the only one who still feels 13 sometimes? Like I too, just want to fit in somehow. I spend moments wondering sometimes if someone really does like me or not. What about those days the little green monster named Envy wants to come out to play. What about the use of ALWAYS, NEVER, HATE and the pity parties that follow them? What about the days I worry about my looks and the extra pounds I need to shed? The days when I make a mistake and have a hard time letting it go and sometimes even forgiving myself? What about the days I could use a pal, but because we are all so busy, I allow myself to feel lonely. What about the days you get so wrapped in the opinions of others, you simply can't hear God's voice and it scares you? I constantly have to find strength in my relationship with Jesus to realize once again to myself that my "joy" doesn't come from this world, but from a higher power.
The blog world can also be self defeating if one lets it. I try never to get on the computer these days unless I have my pity party under control, because all of a sudden one can feel pressure to be what their not, even in Blogland. Is my blog cute enough? Are they going to think what I wrote was stupid? She has more followers than me. How come they didn't list my blog among their favorites? Why doesn't he comment? The temptation to be someone you really aren't can be strong...
My point with all of this? Simply be yourself. Allow God to shine through the beautiful creation He created called "You." He must have had a purpose in His creative process, because He certainly doesn't make mistakes!!! I think we get caught up in what others think and what they have, instead of remembering what we all need, in order to truly be beautiful...a heart like Jesus.
I came home from work today, feeling a little blue. I felt like I must be the only one feeling this way, until I cried a few tears, asked the Lord for a little joy, gave myself a similar speech to the one I gave my daughter, only age appropriate and then read some incredible posts that cheered me up. Thanks everyone!!!
So, if you are feeling a little thirteenish today, remember you are loved, "zits and all..."