Tuesday, August 18, 2009

feeling thirteen again...

This past weekend, I think the school nerves caught up with my daughter. She is going into the 7th grade this year and of course it is a whole new world. A world in which she so desperately wants to fit in to. She doesn't necessarily want to be the most popular, for that is too much "pressure," as she puts it. She just simply wants to be liked.

I went through the whole mom talk, AGAIN, about how just because someone doesn't talk to you, it doesn't mean they HATE you. And that girls in 7th grade tend to change who their BEST friend is daily. Nerds in junior high can grow older to be Prom Queen, while popular kids can do something stupid in their lives and be the center of gossip and ridicule, for years after high school. In other words, you just never know... your joy and security has to come from somewhere else in this life, not laid in the hands of snotty nosed teenagers!

As I type this, I'm giving myself this speech. I'm going to go out on a limb and be very honest today. Am I the only one who still feels 13 sometimes? Like I too, just want to fit in somehow. I spend moments wondering sometimes if someone really does like me or not. What about those days the little green monster named Envy wants to come out to play. What about the use of ALWAYS, NEVER, HATE and the pity parties that follow them? What about the days I worry about my looks and the extra pounds I need to shed? The days when I make a mistake and have a hard time letting it go and sometimes even forgiving myself? What about the days I could use a pal, but because we are all so busy, I allow myself to feel lonely. What about the days you get so wrapped in the opinions of others, you simply can't hear God's voice and it scares you? I constantly have to find strength in my relationship with Jesus to realize once again to myself that my "joy" doesn't come from this world, but from a higher power.

The blog world can also be self defeating if one lets it. I try never to get on the computer these days unless I have my pity party under control, because all of a sudden one can feel pressure to be what their not, even in Blogland. Is my blog cute enough? Are they going to think what I wrote was stupid? She has more followers than me. How come they didn't list my blog among their favorites? Why doesn't he comment? The temptation to be someone you really aren't can be strong...

My point with all of this? Simply be yourself. Allow God to shine through the beautiful creation He created called "You." He must have had a purpose in His creative process, because He certainly doesn't make mistakes!!! I think we get caught up in what others think and what they have, instead of remembering what we all need, in order to truly be beautiful...a heart like Jesus.

I came home from work today, feeling a little blue. I felt like I must be the only one feeling this way, until I cried a few tears, asked the Lord for a little joy, gave myself a similar speech to the one I gave my daughter, only age appropriate and then read some incredible posts that cheered me up. Thanks everyone!!!

So, if you are feeling a little thirteenish today, remember you are loved, "zits and all..."

15 comments:

Warren Baldwin said...

I like this post, esp this comment: "Allow God to shine through the beautiful creation He created called "You."

There is a lot of pressure all around us, even in Christian environments, to not be content. Sure, we need to grow. But we also need to be thankful for what we have now and what God has allowed us to become.

I just posted about spending time with our kids, esp dads. I'd love to hear your feedback on it. Thanks,
wb

Jo said...

Hey, sweet one! I like you no matter if you're having a "pity party" or not.
I can relate to the "thirteenish" feelings, too. Even at MY age! lol
I was never in the "in-crowd" at school, and being a "country girl", I often felt lonely and left out. Plus, we didn't have the resources to be involved with extra-curricular activities that usually took place in town.
You know what? It doesn't matter anymore! I have found that as the years have passed, most of the "cliques" have disappeared. There are some exceptions, I am sure. Just recently, I met up with some lovely ladies, some that I had not seen in 45 years. Some of them were "townies" and some of them were "country girls", back in the day. About ten of us met, had a nice luncheon and shared with each other and laughed bunches. It was great!
Now, regarding the "thirteenish" feelings... Prior to the luncheon, I had mixed feelings about seeing some of them. "What would they think of me?" "Do I look frumpy or over-the-hill?" During the get-together, I realized that all my questions to myself just melted away. I guess I'll probably always be questioning myself in certain situations, trying to please or live up to what others think of me or expect of me. (I believe maybe you got that gene from me.) lol
This is harder to put in practice than to say...but, the only person we need to be concerned with is HIM, and living up to what HE would have us do or think.
I love you, girl!
Aunt Jo

Heart2Heart said...

Mich,

Oh how just reading your post today brought back so many things I feel from day to day.

Sure in the everyday adult world we still deal with the politics of friends. Why does she invite her for coffee and not me? Why does she call her and not me? What do they make plans and not call me?

I figure perhaps maybe, just maybe, I may not want to be around myself on those days. I admit I have those days where I question why my family wants to be with me, why not just throw in the towel and walk away because I feel so used by everyone else's wants and needs there is no one to fulfill mine.

Even the blogging world is not immune, I find myself falling victim to those same questions you posted earlier.

Yet I have to remind myself why I started this blog. To record what my life is like every day, ups and downs, ins and outs, days that are good and days that are bad.

What I have found are some incredible people that can sense what you are going through and they reach out to you, with arms open wide. I believe God sends them to you to help you at that low point.

You my friend are part of my family now. See when you become a follower, you aren't just a friend or someone who finds my posts interesting, but you become part of my family.

When you hurt, I am there to make you feel better, when you are thrilled and happy, we are having a celebration together, when you are sad, I pick up the tissues and ice cream and we cry and eat together. You are my sister now.

Feel free to email me anytime off the blogging world at Stevenkat27@verizon.net and I'd be happy to call and we can chat anytime you want, cause that is what family is for. We are there for each other. I love you and sending you ((Hugs))!

By the way: My word verification is, BLESS! Thanks God for sending me Mich!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

momstheword said...

I remember being younger and vulnerable and if someone was whispering I wondered if they were whispering about me!

You're not alone. We all have those moments, even in blogland, facebook or twitter!

Sarah Dawn said...

Listen tonight dear friend, the Lord is singing a beautiful song over your life.

May the song of our lives, be to the tune of your heart, Our Lord!

Learning to listen with you,
Sarah Dawn

Five Moms & A Blog said...

Is your dog a girl because you know, we girls got to have our salt, lol!

~ Nan

He & Me + 3 said...

What a great post. I so needed to read this. I get that way all 13 ish all to often. Thanks for the pep talk and for putting things in perspective.
Hugs,
Mimi

Amber said...

I love you.

I couldn't love you more if I tried.

God knew I needed you.

<3,
Amb

Jim said...

Sis,
I remember when you were 13. It was not an easy time in your life. Your experiences were out of the norm for most, beyond a lot of the common 13ish contacts, but not without the same inner struggles, I'm sure. I just praise the Lord for what's "hatched-out" of your struggle. Our Father did a "great job" in bringing you along.

I am so very proud of you, my precious girl!

Jim-Dad

Searching for God in the everyday said...

Amen! What a great post! 13 was, and continues to be, such a hard age for me too! =) Your transparency and honesty are refreshing. I wish I had a mom that gave me the advice you gave your daughter. She is very fortunate to have you as a Mom. =)

Billy Coffey said...

I feel thirteen again on an almost daily basis, whether I choose to admit that to myself or not. I think we all walk around in the world with imaginary yard sticks to measure first someone else, then ourselves. And it can be a virtual world just as much as the real one.

All of which is why being loved zits and all means so very much.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

At 43, I still get zits! Sorry to burst your hope for "clear" skin. I also host my fair share of wrinkles and flab with all the emotional flare of a 13 year old! So there...you're not alone, and as for the blog comparison, been there, done that and am exhausted from it!!!

I think it takes a while to get "over" ourselves, and once we realize that everyone else is doing the same thing, we finally let ourselves off the hook and get movin' on with the movin' on.

So glad we're in this together, new friend. Hang in there. I'm always available for a prayer in your direction. Shoot me an e-mail anytime.

peace~elaine

E @ Scottsville said...

You know, when you said "So worried about what the world thinks of you, that you can't hear God's voice...and it scares you"...that one hit me hard.

I have a huge decision to make right now and I'm more worried about how the WORLD will judge me than whether or not God will. If He's okay with my decision, why do I even care what the world around me thinks?

Thanks for this post, Mich!

Mocha Momma said...

Thanks, Mich for your support and kind words.

I'd like to see your picturs from the 80's party you had for your husband.

I'll be back

Mocha Momma said...

Oh, Mich this was so precious and appropriate.

I had an issue with what someone said to me and I had a pitty party, but I really had to work hard to forgive and move on.

I have a problem with things coming up over and over again and I dwell on them.

Nan always says that we're not spending enough time focusing on God if we have time to have a pity party or whatever we're doing.

That is so true. Nan knows just what we need to hear at our church.

My daughter is going into 7th grade too. It is also her very first time to go to school. She's excited! I pray that she'll be strong and not sucum (spelling?) to all that teen girl drama.

Wish our girls were together in school. They might hit it off.

Take care
Nannette