Saturday, January 3, 2009

Where did my "Baby Doll" go?!!!

12 years, 3 months and two days ago, God gave me a baby girl. She was my "baby doll." I totally was in love with her. I can still remember her sweet smell... you know, that baby smell, a mixture of powder and spit up, that us moms love. I can remember dressing her up in the cutest clothes, pretty dresses, big hats and bows. I can remember being totally in love with her and my husband as they slept together in the recliner. I remember thinking I wish she would stay so small and so sweet...

Hello!!! A little warning would have been nice! What happened to sweet and cuddly baby doll?! Nothing in the "what to expect" books warns you that when you have a girl, you will be in for a bumpy ride! In fact you don't need to just put your seat belt on, you may want to wear padded gear too!

All little girls should come with "warnings" plastered all over their rears! I'm a female and I still was TOTALLY clueless as to what I was getting into. I definitely have a new found respect for my mom and dad who raised TWO of us!

I have a boy too, and yes there are moments... all kids come with those. No, what I am talking about is MOMENTS! The kind where you need to duck for cover, hide or attempt to lock her up for a few days, MOMENTS.

Now, before I go any further, let me be the first to say I am truly blessed. I have a wonderful daughter. She is compassionate, very loving, a deep thinker... she is well liked by both kids and adults. No, I've got it good. Except...

Every month when the hormones start raging. Now, I know I'm not perfect during my special "moments" each month, but after all, I'm "queen" of the house. And this house just doesn't feel big enough for the both of us sometimes!

There is a day of snapping your head off at "hello," eating everything in sight and screaming at the scales, let's pick a really big fight with bubby and then turn around and cry in the pillow because no one in the world likes you including your parents...yada, yada, yada. She will come wanting a hug, only I tremble, waiting for the "evil" twin to take over and snap at me because I "talked" to her. Yes, I will say it again... there should be a warning label.

Actually, I am exaggerating a little (very little). She isn't always that bad. Truth is as I said before, she is a pretty good kid. I think what bothers me the most is that she isn't so small and cuddly anymore! Instead, she is getting tall and totally beautiful in her mom's eyes. She will always be my baby, BUT, she is "NOT" my baby anymore!

I'm a little late in blogging about this...of course I hardly blogged about anything that happened in December, but I still am in a little bit of denial that my baby is in Middle school. She is doing and wanting to do things that middle school kids do... We have already had a cell phone meltdown (basically we are not ready to let her have one), we have felt the new pressure of grades (tears over AR points), multiple teachers (hates one, likes one, loves one, etc...) and of course peer pressure (ugh! Do I really need to say more?) and then we had our first dance.

Yes, I said it. The Christmas dance. Wow! I thought it would do me in. I was between smiling, because she was so excited and crying, because she was so excited! Getting the dress, making the arrangements for someone "cool" to do her hair and everything else that goes with it just about sent me over the motherhood cliff. And she is only in the 6th grade!!!

Here I am, a mom of a growing young woman, scared to death of the road ahead. Good kid or not, well I'm not naive either. Twenty years in youth ministry hasn't allowed me to be...

So, I guess I will go put on my padded gear, with maybe a few extra layers of Charmin, belt myself in, try not to cry constantly that my little girl is growing up and PRAY!!!

I have a prayer card, that I found while cleaning my office (yes, Amb, I'm getting there!). It has a sweet prayer and some great verses that remind me to pray for my kids. I would like to share the prayer with you. Maybe it can be your prayer as you guide your own children and grandchildren...

"Help me today, Lord, to be observant of them and sensitive to them. Give me unusual insight into their lives. Help me to be secure in Your love and care, Father, for I need your help as much as they do.
Help me give attention to my children and be available to them to give guidance in the decisions they face. Help me provide a moral foundation for them. Help me give them emotional health by valuing them and caring for them.
Help me provide for their needs and prepare them for the world they'll face as they grow. Help me share my relationship with you.
And today, Lord, remind me to take the time to understand my kid's perspectives before I speak. Remind me to be more playful with them.
Give me grace, Lord to model for my children what it means to be a good and godly person.

I don't know where you are on your road in life... maybe you should be writing the kid's manual because you have already been there and done that, maybe I've just scared you to death, while you wait for your due date to come, or maybe you are just like me, watching your kids grow before your very eyes, longing to be able to push a button and make them stop...

Whatever the case may be, grab your knees pads and some extra tissue and join me...I've decided that the only way I'm going to survive the next 20 years, is on a bended knee.

I thought you might enjoy seeing what my "baby doll" looked like at her first dance, all dressed up! Say a prayer for me....


The Brown's said...

Found ya! You will now have another committed reader. I like the prayer for our children I will be joining you on bended knee. I think I am already messing them up.:o)

Jo said...

Nothing better than a little one to cuddle....boy OR girl!

I am having a difficult time, remembering how it was with Mom and I when I was Kayla's age. I suppose I probably gave her fits like every other know-it-all teenager. In spite of my lost brain cells, I can say that we made it through those years with few bruises.

Of course, what goes around comes around, as they say. I used to find myself doing things and using phrases Mom did, when Richard was a teenager. Afterwards, I would think to myself, "Gads! I have turned into my Mother!" Words (not bad ones) would come out of my mouth that I had promised myself I would never say! Go figure!!!

I loved the pic of Kayla! She looks SO grown up. Hard for me to fathom....I still think of her as a little girl. Guess I'm going to have to quit doing that, huh?

Aunt Jo

Amber said...

Our little Kay-Bear all grown up.

Sniff. Sniff.