The alarm clock went off this morning at 5:30a.m. YUCK! I hit the snooze until 6:15. I had to be at work by 7:00. I didn't want to go. If I could financially stay at home right now I would, but unfortunately that is not possible right now. AND I HATE IT! I wake up every morning trying to find the "joy" in my day.
And I do. The smell of baby, a combination of powder and spit up should be bottled. Sweet words from a kind momma are always good for a smile and of course there is nothing better than baby kisses and hugs. Today I was watching two toddlers learn to walk, priceless moments. I enjoy the babies I work with...BUT...
Do you ever get tired of negativity? You know, when it seems that gossip is all there is to do and it is never nice. When it seems that every one in town has a skeleton in their closet and you are going to hear about it whether you want to or not? When words that you do not enjoy hearing are used constantly, and I'm not just talking about "bad" words. What happened to second chances, loving your neighbor or pulling the big ol' plank from your own eye before judging someone else? What happened to simple kindness and respect?
The days get long when you are rocking babies, surrounded by "did you know?," "haven't you heard?," and "I hate..." If you are not careful you can get caught up in it. I have often found myself saying something I regretted, just because I was bored and wanted to be a part of the conversation.
I just came back from a week of camp where prayer, love and Christ were the focus. Coming back to the real world is tough. Getting back in the daily saddle is rough. We go from having "scheduled" quiet times, to trying to set aside a few moments of piece and quiet to have a conversation with God. We go from positive reinforcement to the daily struggling to stay afloat in a sea of negative waves.
Don't get me wrong, I do not work in a war zone. The people I work with are very nice. Yet in my particular area of work, there is time to talk...too much time. Boredom often leads to trying to find something entertaining to say...many times at the expense of another.
I'm not perfect. Yet, I was raised by a Godly woman who thought the words "shut up," "hate," and "stupid" were wrong. As a teenager I thought she was crazy. As a mom, I so agree. Unfortunately we live in a world today, in which if those are the only questionable words you hear, you are very lucky. The vocabulary everyone is using these days is horrible and frankly wears on the soul.
Today, more than one negative thing was said. Earlier this morning I prayed for peace as my heart was frustrated over hateful words declared. I totally understand if you do not like someone, for that is your choice. But what happened to respect for those of us that like that same person or maybe we are even related to the subject of your venom? Is "venting" more important than your relationship with the people around you? We need to remember that once something is said, you can never really take it back, even if apologies are made.
It was hard to go back to work today. Yet, I know that is where God has placed me right now. For how long, I don't know. I could be leaving tomorrow or I could be rocking babies in the same chair 5 years from now. However, the point is that God calls us to be a light for Him no matter where we are at. I might not be able to change my circumstances right now, but I need to try my best not to let my circumstances change me. That old saying "If you can't beat them, join them" CAN NOT apply to my life. I need to be on my toes at all times, standing for Christ.
If I sound preachy, forgive me. I am really just muddling through my feelings and giving MYSELF a good tongue lashing in the process. ( And hopefully encouraging myself to hang in there too. ) If in someway and somehow you have similar issues you are dealing with and God used this post... Hallelujah! If you were just reading through and found yourself feeling sorry for me...then say a prayer for me. If I just made you stop and think about what you said today...then I'm thankful I vented aloud.
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Words to live by.